Thursday, July 17, 2014

Wow! How time flies fast.

It's already mid of 2014. And I been away from this blog for almost 3 and a half years. Man, such a long time. A lot to talk about but for now, I am just saying this blog is going to be alive in the coming months since I am no longer a freelancer and now a Studio Manager/Tutor at Faculty of Communication,HELP University in Jalan Dungun, KL. There be tips and notes I be sharing which I hope will benefit this blog viewers. Hope to open this site again soon. Cheers

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Reminiscing 2010 Part Deux

Subhanallah, I was really lucky at the end of December 2010. No I didn't hit the jackpot project. We were lucky to be alive that is.

The central power switch was burrowed by termites and cause it to burn. Luckily, it caused ONLY the wooden holder to burn and caused a blackout. We thought the whole neighbourhood blackout and "selamba" went out to AEON to wait out.

By the time we got home, the only house still blackout was our house. The switch was set to ON and when I try to dislodge it, dust fell off and I immediately recognized it as termite dust. The termites must have burrowed through the stone wall and got caught in the wires causing them to fry. A portion of the wooden holder got burn and luckily it didn't escalated to cause a major fire.

The blackout occurred around Zuhur and most of us were upstairs taking a nap. Imagine if it broke to a full-scale fire. We could all be burnt alive. Imagine the computer I am using right is lost. There goes my livelihood. Alhamdulillah for making us still walking on this earth.

Now

Lets look back at 2010.

4. On projects. There been numerous projects but I still got goaded to assist on projects and end up not getting paid. It is still a painful affair. Not just to me but also, to the one owing me. As I wrote in my previous post, if someone did wrong to me, the returns is cash nowadays. I got one client, an actress in profession whom bought a solution from me. She paid a downpayment which is just to cover the net cost and then failed to complete the payment. She owed a hefty sum and started to play act on me. And at that time I was recovering from my operations. After two years, my partner who owned the company considered it as a bad debt. Though we didn't made any profit from the sale, we never deliver first and asked for payment later. Guess what, this person office got all her equipment (ours included) robbed and got the nerve to call me for help. Hearing her voice just made me blood go upstairs. ( he he he sapa yg cakap camni?) My heart says served her right. When her payment received she never took an effort to pay. You kenakan orang, it gonna get back at you.

I did a project in 2005 which I put my full heart in accomplishing the project. I drafted the proposal and presented it to the Perak exco. I was not properly paid for my consultation. I was young and want to prove I can do it. Imagine a masscommite suddenly becomes knowledgable in agriculture. Even Mardi doctors thought I was from UPM. The paper was the first corridor ever proposed outside the multimedia supercorridor context. And guess what. It may become the basis for ECER and NCER. Because of impatience on my client side, he went to sell the idea to foreign investors causing the MB thinking what we are doing is a plot to collect funds only. And for that, we lost it. A month or so, the projects would have sailed smoothly. The client got paid even a trip to UK by the current investor while I was totally broke.

Then one fine day in December 2010, the same client came to my house and wanted me to help him on a new project. As a guest to the house, I welcome him as a guest but when he talked of the project, my heart felt uneasy. I later consulted my wife and decided not to pursue it. What made my mind up was he sent me SMS that he wanted to pay Rm200 to start. ARGH! It was clearly an insult to my intelligence. Is my idea is just that much. Might as well put a stop to it. I want to do things that can uplift my current situation, not enriching others and made myself as is or even poorer.

There are other projects but I don't want to depress myself writing this blog. And I notice all the projects involving older people tends to cause misery to me. I guess older people are KIASU. Most of them have the tendency of saving only themselves and left me to fend for myself.

The bright side of things is for the past 8 months, I have been doing a project testing my skills. A lot of architecture modeling, rigging birds (see my previous post), compositing and rotoscoping. Above all, it is an international project. The total amount paid is awesome but when you break it down to the number of months. The numbers is no longer so great. But this project really tested my skills in Cinema 4D and After Effects. I never did Match Moving techniques and now I have. :-). Now if we can conclude the project (it is already at final phase), that would be a swell thing to happen.

So this year, I am charging at profesional rate and I am putting my wife as the CFO. If the projects is not worth the effort, might as well drop it. At least, no stress and endless nights pursuing measly monies.

Someone told me why must I show my grief on the net. No one wants to read people misery and people who dislike you will applaud for all the suffering I suffered. I guess typing these very words makes my mind to rethink what has happened and it sure does lift a burden on my shoulder. It is true life is not easy but I am not a hypocrite. Hiding my true self by showing I am doing alright. This hiding will start to expand and eventually, burst an artery or two.

Anyway, I still pray to Allah that all I am facing is a test. A test of integrity. A show of others true colours. I hope my luck will prevail as Allah still grant my family and me time to walk the earth. (Read first para).

Happy New Year to the blog readers reading this. May we be happy mentally and financially in 2011.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Reminiscing 2010

As the year 2010 drawing to a close, this is the year where I made some achievements and decisions.

1. ANIMATING CHARACTERS - All these years, I have been working on models which are mainly static. This year, I indulged myself to created animated characters and I was given an international architectural job to create flying birds interacting in real environment. I realised that in order to achieve a new standard, you have to engage in actual projects to get balls rolling.

Hummingbird in Motion from Bob Azhar on Vimeo.



Humming Bird in Motion II from Bob Azhar on Vimeo.



2. DON'T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE - All these while, I usually help friends out in consulting and design. But I suddenly realised that people around me are being goody-goody and claimed themselves as friends not because the sake of friendship but because they want something from me. Me, being a nice guy, doesn't have a heart to quote actual cost to my friends. And yet they still wanna free work from me. Hey idiots, you think I live on pensions, ke? I am a cripple now with 7 mouths to feed. And you still rate me at 1990 cost. You think my MacPro is worth RM1k only, my electricity and most important, TIME.

Next year, my wife will scrutinize all clienteles before we can agree to a decision to work the project. Because I am too kindhearted, it is always me becoming cheated of a livelihood. So NOW, if you want a quote, ask my FINANCIAL CONTROLLER. TQ.

3. LECTURING - I have been a part time lecturer in UiTM for three semester. InsyaAllah, I will be lecturing for the fourth semester in 2011. I am glad my lecturing techniques finally brought me a good video project from my students. I deplore ass-fanning, butt-kissing tactics from students, everything I do based on merits and commitments shown. So even if I look to be quite close with some students, if they fail to deliver their assignments, their results will still suffer.



(to be continued- need to get home and pray. Electricity been out the whole day today)

Saturday, November 27, 2010

What's going on?

For the past 2 months, I've been working n a few projects. HD Compositing, 3D modeling, designing a racing track, conceptualizing, scripts, montages, website design and even consulting on million pounds projects. By the look of the amount of work I doing, I should be well off. But hey! Things didn't seem to fall in place "yet" and as for now, I am totally broke to the last penny. The series of mishap is so great. Handphone  battery went kaput, my Rusa got problems, my MacPro starts emitting weird chemical smell, RAM went dead (luckily I got it fixed DIY), might lose the house, road tax expiring and my measly lecturing salary was not keyed in for this month. And these are just part of the whole shabam I am facing. The pressure is heavy but I am hanging on that all these are just a series of test. And what a test I am going through. 

I am keeping my mind in equilibirium. If I collapsed under these pressures, it won't solve my problem, instead it will just worsen things.

Ya Allah! Please lift me from the burden I am enduring and make these clients of mine pay up what is due. 

Totally freak out internally and externally I am calm, and still smiling when watching movies. Hope the internet doesn't go dead on me too.

 

See how it goes in a few days time.

Monday, November 22, 2010

What's going on?

For the past 2 months, I've been working n a few projects. HD Compositing, 3D modeling, designing a racing track, conceptualizing, scripts, montages, website design and even consulting on million pounds projects. By the look of the amount of work I doing, I should be well off. But hey! Things didn't seem to fall in place "yet" and as for now, I am totally broke to the last penny. The series of mishap is so great. Handphone  battery went kaput, my Rusa got problems, my MacPro starts emitting weird chemical smell, RAM went dead (luckily I got it fixed DIY), might lose the house, road tax expiring and my measly lecturing salary was not keyed in for this month. And these are just part of the whole shabam I am facing. The pressure is heavy but I am hanging on that all these are just a series of test. And what a test I am going through. 

I am keeping my mind in equilibirium. If I collapsed under these pressures, it won't solve my problem, instead it will just worsen things.

Ya Allah! Please lift me from the burden I am enduring and make these clients of mine pay up what is due. 

Totally freak out internally and externally I am calm, and still smiling when watching movies. Hope the internet doesn't go dead on me too.

 

See how it goes in a few days time.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Syahdu di Malam Raya

Kedengaran laungan takbir dan dentuman mercun sekitaran rumah mertuaku di Terengganu.

Telah bertolak ke Terengganu pada malam 7hb kerana malam itu tol Highway ke Pantai Timur FREE. Waktu bertolak terpaksa dicepatkan kerana mengejar ruang masa free yang diberikan 9pm ke 6 am. Setelah buat last minit kerja dan packing MacPro dalam Rusa, bertolaklah kami jam 10.20 malam. Jalan jam teruk. Kami sangka kerana semua orang mengejar tol free juga. Rupa-rupanya ada kereta rosak di Taman Melati. Jalan Highway walaupun banyak kereta tapi tak jam seperti dijangka.

Keadaan kenderaan tidaklah molek masa bertolak. Enjin bergegar dan minyak leaking giler. Top up minyak enjin ngam-ngam dan tambah oil treatment. Nak servis, duit ngajar tak masuk akaun pun lagi. Duit job last minit je yang dapat membantu. Dengan balance RM150 dan tawakkal kepada Allah, kami pun bertolak. Alhamdulillah, selamat kami sampai pada jam 6.30am.

Jelas nampak keceriaan pada Ayah Mie dan Mamie.

Setelah cukup berehat, isteriku terasa nak makan Satar, Pa'ih (otak-otak) dan Pulut Lepa. Jam 5 petang kami pun keluar. Seluruh Bandar Kuala Terengganu jam gila. Setelah berjaya membeli Satar di Batu Rakit, kami rancang nak ke Pasir Panjang tapi sampai je di simpang belakang Pulau Kambing, enjin Rusa tiba-tiba mati dan terus saya alihkan ke tepi jalan. Aduh!! Rosak pula Rusa aku. Termenung kejap kerana duit balance di tangan ada cuma RM50 je. Itupun untuk bayar zakat fitrah. Payment job last minit tak masuk lagi. Kami telefon Ayah Mie dan dia datang menjemput. Nasib baik dia banyak contact.

Malam tu, Rusa aku buat pertama kali dalam sejarah ditarik towtruck.Kepala buntu keran nak bayar nanti dengan apa. Bertawakal je la masa tu agar ada payment yang masuk.

Tengahari tadi, Ayah Mie ajak pergi ambil Rusa. Hati berdebar takut kena beribu le pulak. Mana nak cekau duit. Bil yang sampai Alhamdulllah tak mencecah ribu dan cukup-cukup dengan jumlah payment yang nak dibayar. Yang rosak coupling yang pada bila-bila masa akan pecah dan boleh menyebabkan kemalangan jika dalam membawa laju dan contact point serta box dia jam, so sekarang enjin dah tip-top dengan menggunakan elektronik box pula dan coupling ditukar baru. (tak tahu apa nama betul, benda ni) Cuma sedihnya, payment tak masuk pun dalam akaun. Ayah Mie cakap biar dia bayar dulu tapi selepas dia cakap duit pencen dia dah nak habis ni. Aku harap aku akan dapat membayar sebelum kembali ke KL.

Esok juga hari jadi anak bongsuku, Fareesha. Dia merayakan dengan cukup berpuasa 30 hari. Dia cuma lima tahun dan kami tak memaksa dia berpuasa pun. Dia buat kerana nak ikut kakak dan abang dia berpuasa. Kesihan juga kerana dia menjadi kurus, dan bila kami suruh dia berbuka kerana tengok dia tak larat, dia enggan kerana tak nak miss puasa.

Ralat juga kerana aku sekarang tiada wang untuk beraya dan meraikan hari jadi anak aku. Sebak hatiku bila Fareesha cakap, "Abah, kalau duit tak cukup nak raya, pakai aje duit Fareesha." Syahdu hatiku kerana kuingat tahun ini aku dapat memberi duit raya kepada anak-anak aku tapi kita cuma merancang dan Allah menentukan. Adalah hikmah disebalik kekurangan ini.

Aku bersyukur isteri dan anak-anak aku memahami situasi. Merekalah hadiah kepada diriku yang sentiasa mengelak dari membuat perkara mungkar dan dilarang terutama dalam mencari rezeki yang halal dan toyibban.

Ku berdoa adalah payment yang masuk agar anakku dapat merasa kek yang dibeli bapanya. InsyaAllah.

Salam Hari Raya buat semua. Jika ada kesalahan dalam apa jua keadaan, harap dimaafkan.


-bobazhar
10.40pm. Malam Syawal 1431H.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Menjejak Salahsilah keluarga.

Diberitahu bahawa kelauarga kami dari keturunan Kanda. Mereka asal dari Sulawesi, satu keluarga buang gelaran raja dan dianugerahkan gelaran Kanda. [Saya check ngan Persatuan Bugis Malaysia dan confirm keturunan kanda memang wujud dan ramai di Ujong Pasir ke Ujong Padang (tak ingat) and guess what sama tempat kerabat Sultan Selangor. Mereka merantau dan mendarat di Sabak Bernam. Nama Sabak Bernam diambil dari 6 beradik ini walau sebenarnya ada tujuh. Yang bongsu adalah perempuan. Darripada diberitahu seorang tua di Kg Baru, Kanda Long merantau ke Tapah, Kanda Lang ke Behrang. keluarga kami adalah dari keturunan Kanda Lang dan Wan Malini. Ini yang diberitahu orang tua tu. Dia dari Kanda Long.

Ini takat salasilah yg kami ada.

Mohd Azhar
Ismail (3 beradik- Mohd Noor dan Norlian)
Sidek (4 beradik-Simah, Lamah dan Kadir) Kahwin dengan Jameah, keturunan Wan Malini.
Yeop (tak tahu adik beradik) tapi berkahwin dengan Burok (Abah cakap lawa giler)
Arshad (diketahui adik beradik 1-Kamar)
Mat Khalid (Diketahui duduk di Sabak Bernam tapi pencarian Abah dan Opah tak jumpa waris di sana)
-----

Kamar ni Atok Opah belah Mak. (Zainab > Puteh > Mat Darus > Kamar) Adik beradik Opah= Md Yusof, Ma' Yah, Aeshah, Nengah, Nina, Menjah, Tijah dan Pesah

Dah bertahun saya cuba menjejak salasilah melalui ayah saya dan sedara. Ayah dan Aruah Opah pernah cuba cari saudara di Sabak Bernam in the 60s tapi gagal. Kami cuma dapat takat yang kat atas ni Ni first time dalam pencarian salah silah saya terjumpa Keturunan Kanda.

Satu lagi ada pantang larang kami tak boleh makan kerbau balau, pisang udang, padi licin dan guna sejenis kepok padi (bekas letak padi) Diberitahu kerabat Minang tak leh makan benda sama.

Sesiapa yang ada kaitan ngan keluarga kami atau tahu dia keturunan Kanda atau ada pantang larang sama, sila berhubung ye. TQ