Menjejak Salahsilah keluarga.

Diberitahu bahawa kelauarga kami dari keturunan Kanda. Mereka asal dari Sulawesi, satu keluarga buang gelaran raja dan dianugerahkan gelaran Kanda. [Saya check ngan Persatuan Bugis Malaysia dan confirm keturunan kanda memang wujud dan ramai di Ujong Pasir ke Ujong Padang (tak ingat) and guess what sama tempat kerabat Sultan Selangor. Mereka merantau dan mendarat di Sabak Bernam. Nama Sabak Bernam diambil dari 6 beradik ini walau sebenarnya ada tujuh. Yang bongsu adalah perempuan. Darripada diberitahu seorang tua di Kg Baru, Kanda Long merantau ke Tapah, Kanda Lang ke Behrang. keluarga kami adalah dari keturunan Kanda Lang dan Wan Malini. Ini yang diberitahu orang tua tu. Dia dari Kanda Long.

Ini takat salasilah yg kami ada.

Mohd Azhar
Ismail (3 beradik- Mohd Noor dan Norlian)
Sidek (4 beradik-Simah, Lamah dan Kadir) Kahwin dengan Jameah, keturunan Wan Malini.
Yeop (tak tahu adik beradik) tapi berkahwin dengan Burok (Abah cakap lawa giler)
Arshad (diketahui adik beradik 1-Kamar)
Mat Khalid (Diketahui duduk di Sabak Bernam tapi pencarian Abah dan Opah tak jumpa waris di sana)
-----

Kamar ni Atok Opah belah Mak. (Zainab > Puteh > Mat Darus > Kamar) Adik beradik Opah= Md Yusof, Ma' Yah, Aeshah, Nengah, Nina, Menjah, Tijah dan Pesah

Dah bertahun saya cuba menjejak salasilah melalui ayah saya dan sedara. Ayah dan Aruah Opah pernah cuba cari saudara di Sabak Bernam in the 60s tapi gagal. Kami cuma dapat takat yang kat atas ni Ni first time dalam pencarian salah silah saya terjumpa Keturunan Kanda.

Satu lagi ada pantang larang kami tak boleh makan kerbau balau, pisang udang, padi licin dan guna sejenis kepok padi (bekas letak padi) Diberitahu kerabat Minang tak leh makan benda sama.

Sesiapa yang ada kaitan ngan keluarga kami atau tahu dia keturunan Kanda atau ada pantang larang sama, sila berhubung ye. TQ

Don't Just Read the Quran, Understand it.

Received a SMS from my brother a few days back regarding the significant date 21/12/2012. The so-called End of Days. He asked me to read the translation from Surah 20:12 and Surah 21:12 and are we ready for it. And thanks to the world wide web, I did.

The Quran can't be read just from a verse. We have to read the whole context to understand the meaning. So I took the liberty to extract Malay and English (from Abdullah Yusuf Ali) translation extract from Surah Al Anbiya, which is Surah 21 and verses from 1 to 21.

For those whom wanna read more:-

For Surah Taha; you can read from here.

For Surah Al Anbiya, you can read from here.

Surah Taha on verse 15 talks about the coming of Kiamat (Judgment Days) which Allah swt kept it hidden so every soul can receive awards by the measure of their endeavour. While Surah Al-Anbiya talks about the time of reckoning, those whom said Quran is just medleys of dream and the Punishment which will come soon. Both are about Judgement day.

It is already stated the Judgement Day is not made known to us. So why bother to determine when is the time will end. We are not to decide that the end is near. Just fulfil our obligation as Muslim and deter ourselves from wrongdoings. We may be gone from this earth tomorrow or even the next hour. Putting negative thoughts won't solve our problems. Enjoy life but remember, in one of the verses, Judgement Day is a secret so we will be rewarded for what we endeavor. So enjoy it the right way. By the way, I really am happy that I read the Quran today.

Excerpt from Surah Al-Anbiya

1

Closer and closer to mankind comes their Reckoning: yet they heed not and they turn away.

Telah hampir datangnya kepada manusia hari perhitungan amalnya sedang mereka dalam kelalaian, tidak hiraukan persediaan baginya.

2

Never comes (aught) to them of a renewed Message from their Lord, but they listen to it as in jest,-

Tidak datang kepada mereka itu sebarang peringatan yang diturunkan dari Tuhan mereka lepas satu: Satu, melainkan mereka memasang telinga mendengarnya sambil mereka mempermain-mainkannya;

3

Their hearts toying as with trifles. The wrong-doers conceal their private counsels, (saying), "Is this (one) more than a man like yourselves? Will ye go to witchcraft with your eyes open?"

Dengan keadaan hati mereka leka daripada memahami dan mengamalkan maksudnya. Dan orang-orang yang zalim itu, berbisik-bisik sesama sendiri dengan berkata: Bukankah (Muhammad) ini hanyalah seorang manusia biasa seperti kamu? Maka patutkah kamu turut hadir mendengar sihir yang dibawanya itu sedang kamu nampak dan mengetahui karutnya?

4

Say: "My Lord knoweth (every) word (spoken) in the heavens and on earth: He is the One that heareth and knoweth (all things)."

(Bagi menjawab mereka, Nabi Muhammad) berkata: Tuhanku mengetahui tiap-tiap perkataan (yang dilahirkan atau disembunyikan oleh makhluk-makhluk) di langit dan di bumi dan Dialah jua Yang Maha Mendengar, lagi Maha Mengetahui.

5

"Nay," they say, "(these are) medleys of dream! - Nay, He forged it! - Nay, He is (but) a poet! Let him then bring us a Sign like the ones that were sent to (Prophets) of old!"

(Mereka bukan sahaja menyifatkan Al-Quran itu sihir) bahkan mereka menuduh dengan berkata: Al-Quran itu perkara karut yang dimimpikan oleh Muhammad, bahkan perkara yang diada-adakan olehnya, bahkan Muhammad sendiri seorang penyair. (Kalaulah dia sebenarnya seorang Rasul) maka hendaklah dia membawa kepada kita satu mukjizat sebagaimana mukjizat-mukjizat yang dibawa oleh Rasul-rasul yang telah diutus dahulu.

6

(As to those) before them, not one of the populations which We destroyed believed: will these believe?

Tidak ada penduduk sesebuah negeri pun yang Kami binasakan sebelum mereka, yang telah beriman kepada mukjizat yang diberi kepadanya; maka benarkah mereka yang meminta mukjizat itu mahu beriman?

7

Before thee, also, the apostles We sent were but men, to whom We granted inspiration: If ye realise this not, ask of those who possess the Message.

Dan Kami tidak mengutus Rasul-rasul sebelummu (wahai Muhammad) melainkan orang-orang lelaki yang Kami wahyukan kepada mereka (bukan malaikat); maka bertanyalah kamu kepada Ahluzzikri jika kamu tidak mengetahui.

8

Nor did We give them bodies that ate no food, nor were they exempt from death.

Dan Kami tidak menjadikan Rasul-rasul itu bertubuh badan yang tidak makan minum, dan mereka pula tidak akan kekal hidup selama-lamanya (di dunia).

9

In the end We fulfilled to them Our Promise, and We saved them and those whom We pleased, but We destroyed those who transgressed beyond bounds.

Kemudian Kami tepati janji Kami kepada mereka, lalu Kami selamatkan mereka dan sesiapa yang Kami kehendaki dan (sebaliknya) Kami binasakan orang-orang yang melampaui batas.

10

We have revealed for you (O men!) a book in which is a Message for you: will ye not then understand?

Sesungguhnya Kami telah menurunkan kepada kamu sebuah Kitab (Al-Quran) yang mengandungi perkara yang menimbulkan sebutan baik dan kelebihan untuk kamu, maka mengapa kamu tidak memahaminya (dan bersyukur akan nikmat yang besar itu)?

11

How many were the populations We utterly destroyed because of their iniquities, setting up in their places other peoples?

Dan berapa banyak Kami telah pecah-belahkan dan binasakan penduduk negeri yang melakukan kezaliman dan Kami telah menjadikan sesudah mereka, kaum yang lain sebagai gantinya.

12

Yet, when they felt Our Punishment (coming), behold, they (tried to) flee from it.

Maka ketika mereka merasai (kedatangan) azab Kami, mereka dengan serta-merta lari keluar dari negeri itu.

13

Flee not, but return to the good things of this life which were given you, and to your homes in order that ye may be called to account.

(Lalu dikatakan kepada mereka): Janganlah kamu lari dan sebaliknya kembalilah kepada kemewahan hidup yang telah diberikan kepada kamu dan ke tempat-tempat tinggal kamu, supaya kamu dapat ditanya mengenai apa yang berlaku.

14

They said: "Ah! woe to us! We were indeed wrong-doers!"

(Akhirnya) mereka berkata: Aduhai celakanya kami! Sesungguhnya kami adalah orang-orang yang berlaku zalim!

15

And that cry of theirs ceased not, till We made them as a field that is mown, as ashes silent and quenched.

Maka demikianlah seterusnya jeritan dan keluhan mereka, sehingga Kami jadikan mereka hancur lebur dan sunyi-sepi.

16

Not for (idle) sport did We create the heavens and the earth and all that is between!

Dan (ingatlah) tidaklah Kami menciptakan langit dan bumi serta segala yang ada di antaranya, secara main-main.

17

If it had been Our wish to take (just) a pastime, We should surely have taken it from the things nearest to Us, if We would do (such a thing)!

Sekiranya Kami hendak mengambil sesuatu untuk hiburan, tentulah Kami akan mengambilnya dari sisi Kami; Kami tidak melakukannya.

18

Nay, We hurl the Truth against falsehood, and it knocks out its brain, and behold, falsehood doth perish! Ah! woe be to you for the (false) things ye ascribe (to Us).

Bahkan Kami sentiasa mengarahkan yang benar menentang yang salah, lalu dia menghancurkannya, maka dengan serta-merta hilang lenyaplah ia dan (tetaplah) kecelakaan akan menimpa kamu disebabkan apa yang kamu sifatkan (terhadap Kami).

19

To Him belong all (creatures) in the heavens and on earth: Even those who are in His (very) Presence are not too proud to serve Him, nor are they (ever) weary (of His service):

Dan (ingatlah) segala yang ada di langit dan di bumi adalah milik kepunyaan Allah jua dan malaikat-malaikat yang ada di sisiNya tidak membesarkan diri dan tidak enggan daripada beribadat kepadaNya dan tidak pula mereka merasa penat dan letih.

20

They celebrate His praises night and day, nor do they ever flag or intermit.

Mereka beribadat malam dan siang, dengan tidak berhenti-henti.

21

Or have they taken (for worship) gods from the earth who can raise (the dead)?

Adakah benda-benda dari bumi yang mereka jadikan tuhan-tuhan itu, dapat menghidupkan semula sesuatu yang mati?

Back to work.

Cheers

A hectic month

For the past few months, its been hectic as my MacPro has faced so much problems. And it is not the only problem. Been hit thrice on a one night extremely high fever, but that is another story. On the MacPro problem I can say it is all because of my own quest to make it a better system. I have upgraded to Leopard a few months back and when I start to tinker, I lost my original licensing to CS3. Then my internal RAID failed on me. Overheated due to age. Lost so many files in the process. But I have upgraded to Snow Leopard to solve most of the issues. So far so good but I have been facing permissions problems on most of the apps I have.

Last night, disaster struck. Faced with permissions problems I started to tinker again with the system. I have two administrator access which both is mine. So I changed ownership to the new administrator I created when reinstalling the Leopard. Everything went haywired and I was forced to reinstall Snow Leopard again. All my external hard disk got locked out and my internet just stucked. I reset back the ownership to the old administrator and my internet works again.

For external HD got locked I got this on macrumors.com forum. Requires effort on Terminal. Here is the excerpt and it works a charm. Just need to update 1 Gb OS Update (2 hours to go on downloading) and then test all my apps again. Ouch!!!

Quote:

I found a solution that worked. In Terminal type the following sequence (obviously replace "Volumename with the name of your volume): sudo chflags 0 /Volumes/Volumename sudo chown 0:80 /Volumes/Volumename sudo chmod 775 /Volumes/Volumename sudo chmod -N /Volumes/Volumename

but if your hard drives name includes a [space] like this: "My HD", then you must write the command like this:

Quote:

sudo chflags 0 /Volumes/firstname\ secondname sudo chown 0:80 /Volumes/firstname\ secondname sudo chmod 775 /Volumes/firstname\ secondname sudo chmod -N /Volumes/firstname\ secondname

or like in my example:

Quote:

sudo chflags 0 /Volumes/My\ HD sudo chown 0:80 /Volumes/My\ HD sudo chmod 775 /Volumes/My\ HD sudo chmod -N /Volumes/My\ HD

It saved both my drives! THANK YOU APPLE!!!

Goodbye my friend

Last Friday, my web buddy passed away. Azmi FG which FG stands for Fat Ghost died due to internal injuries he had from an accident a few days before. He was 48. He was an office colleague of mine when I was an i-director at Concept Access. He was with Concept Comm. We always chatted when I was sharing his office Mac publishing system.

It been years we last met. Actually we never met since I left CA. We got back close in Alumni Mass Comm site with him always putting comments on any forum discussions. His comments is always funny and sometimes doesn't make sense but it makes the site alive.

The night I got the message he passed away, I was devastated. I felt lost and as if a part of me has died with him. I was totally downed and spent in my room asleep and missed WC semis and finals. Never thought that the relationship that comes abruptly to an end affected me so much. It is the same feeling when my wife miscarriage a few years back. Mind went numb and I became a zombie.

To Azmi, al Fatihah to you, my brother. May Allah placed you amongst His minions.

FEVER

It's been a month since I had fever. Last night I was hit hard. Symptoms is I started to get a chill and then escalated to as if I am in a winter. Had to don my thermal pants, wool sweater and my thick leather jacket. Plus I slept inside a sleeping bag to ease the cold. I took vitamin C and antibiotics. By 3 am, the fever subsided.

What weird my whole right leg up to the upper thigh will be red as ember that will last a few days.

It has been going on the past one year. Everytime I went for a check-up with doctor, he/she will say I got viral infection and a good dose of antibiotics will fix it. My temperature is normal. They even wonder whether I needed MC to ponteng kerja. Funny part I am working on my own at home and I don't need MC since 1997.

Some family members diagnosed me for being hit by someone by using supernatural ways. Santau to be exact method they using. I know who are the culprits. But I wonder it is because he got divorced for his own actions or because he cheated me on a RM9K job I wanted to share with him and for that he got axed out. Or is it they both come to terms to work together to get me sick?

My conscious tells me not to retaliate and lets nature takes its own course. What goes around, comes around. I felt no hatred but pity for my adversaries whoever they are.

For me, I am holding the fort and find ways for remedy.

I am too kind

Too kind that I got trampled by opportunistic so-called friends. So much is owed and because of trust, word as bond was used. Most Malay businessmen I know don't hold their end of bargain if we used words as bonds.

One more thing, I am pissed to the corrupt ways of business I endured. They set a system and yet I would not follow the system that is corrupt and clearly against the teaching of Islam. I may be poor but my integrity is secured. I don't believe in being a kaki bodek and giving undertable. And for that I lost the business advantages as they said it. So, bye bye professional knowledge, bye bye merit.

Ya Allah, show the path, the righteous path as I hold hard on my principles in accordance to Islam. And I am grateful for the rezeki which is halal. You are truly great. Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah.

Hari Bapa - Tears shed.

Sunday Morning, Kuala Terengganu - Father's Day

I woke up with a make-shift envelope made from a notebook. Inside the envelope there is a letter worded in Malay.

Selamat Hari Bapa

Selamat Hari Bapa, Adik minta maaf

apa yang adik buat, adik

sangat berterima kasih kerana bersungguh-

sungguh untuk mencari duit. Adik

berharap akan abah panjang umur....

(Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day, I ask for forgiveness

for what I have done, I am thankful because

(you) worked hard to earn cash (for the family)

I hope you will have a long life)

A five ringgit note was attached to it.

A drop of tear appears on my eyes. My daughter took the liberty to wish me Father's Day and even gave me RM5. It's not expensive wish cards or the RM5. The thought of wishing me that really touches my heart.

I gave back the RM5 and said thanks to her, you need it more than I do.

Thanx Fareeha, Dad always working hard for the whole family. And InsyaAllah, with your doa, I may live long. Hopefully rezeki will be an abundance soon.

And the winner is.....

Come Monday, I gonna punch in the result for my Animation Technique students. There is no winner. I just hope what I taught on usage of After Effects, Illustrator and Photoshop can be put to good use in their coming semester.

Some one did ask me why I teach when its hourly pay is low. I am just giving back to the school (now faculty) for the knowledge I gained when I was there. Lecturing on techniques also gives me the requirement to further enhance my knowledge. I can further refine my teaching techniques. Since Mass Comm students are not Art and Design students, I need to keep it simple. Last semester, my project assignment must be based on KISS concept. LOLZ Not making out kiss, just an abbreviation for KEEP IT SIMPLE .... . The dot stands for STUPID LOLZ.

Simplicity is important if we want the idea to get across to the audience. Making it difficult will stress us out. As long the element taught is added, it will be added bonus. But there are still some who misunderstood this. Simplicity to them is delivering half-baked animations.

Being Mass Comm students, if you lack the skill to illustrate characters, you make the story interesting and worth watching. Make it funny, make people think. The synopsis may sound great. Explore it in storyboarding. If you find it lack elements for audience to enjoy it, find a different angle on the story to make it interesting.

When we did our advertising final campaign, (BTW, I am not a broadcasting student.) there was three person in our group. Financially deprived, we tried to complete our objective as simple as possible. Instead of outdoor shooting, we did it in the studio which was free. After our two proposals were thrashed can by the lecturer, we proposed a much simpler concept. Ohh yea, our ad campaign was DUREX CONDOM Ad for Malaysian TV screening. Our talent was a golf putter, a golf ball. That was it. These was borrowed from one of the lecturer, Mr Sankaran. (Wonder where he is now?)

We explore ways to produce it. We used PSPP studio (Then PSPP was where broadcasting students do their studio work. Now, Mass Comm has its own studio.) To give the element of elegance, we made the backdrop black and used smoke from kemenyan. Imagine the smell of kemenyan suddenly can be smelt down at the library below. Musta give other students goose-bumps.

We can't afford to rent a steady cam, so we used a simple Video8 camera from my uncle. To give a steady movement, we tied a bungee cord to it so it can be stretched up and down without any hand shake from any angle. The shoot took less than 5 hours. 2 hours shooting, 3 hours chatting. LOLZ.

Next the editing process. We wanted AB Roll editing and the school only had VHS deck to deck suite. So I convinced the lab technician, Abang Zul. (He still in Mass Comm) to do an experiment. I rigged the Video 8 to the deck via the mixer and voila, we had AB Roll editing. BTW AB Roll editing give smooth transitions from clip to clip. Now we can do simply do this transition in nonlinear editing system like Final Cut, iMovie, Premiere, Edius, Vegas and God knows, many others in the market. Then was not that easy. Deck to Deck will freeze the previous clip and dissolve over it, making it look a bit weird. The editing was completed in just a few hours and I did my own editing. I craved for knowledge that I really spent a lot of time in the editing room pushing buttons until I was even thought by my juniors, I was a broadcasting student. LOLZ

Disaster struck when I completed and want to make a copy, the deck chew my tape. To salvage my work, I re-edit at PSPP using Umatic Deck to Deck system. It was my first time using it. Took me two days to understand the process but I managed to recreate but as good as what I did using the AB Roll rig.

So on presentation day, instead of showing my Umatic edited ad, I used the chewed tape. Luckily the lecturer liked it. Fooooh. Got 4 flat for it.

Here is the video I salvaged from the 18 years old VHS tape.

My point for telling this story, we keep things simple, cost as minimal as possible, explore methods to deliver our work. I hoped my future students (that is if UiTM still hiring me next semester) will make the project KISS and explore the software they are taught in, manipulate the methods to give me a good show worthy to show at Festivals outside the walls of UiTM.

And the winner is the one who learn and keep on learning for their own benefits.

Cheers,

-bob

4 am and still wide awake.

Update May 2010: Bamboo Rafting Round 4 and yakitty yack...

Salam,

Been awhile since I last updated my blog. Totally thought I fully recovered from my surgery, only to find myself hit with viral infection every forthnight causing my right leg to swollen almost as big as hulk feet and high fever that made my hands shaking hard. Luckily, the doc gave me medication to recover.

It has not been fun for the past few months for me. With the fortnight sickness, lots of mishaps and delays really agonized me. First, I lost my N80. Haven't taken my time to go to Maxis to pick up my new sim chip. So my 017 is off for awhile. I thought I can get a new handphone, only to receive news that my last 2 months lecturing salary will be delayed to this mid-month. Even my ongoing 3D projects got hold up.

Both washing machine I had broke down, my wife having sore back washing old-style. My MacPro started to have strange problems. Maybe its the Leopard upgrade but one thing for sure my internal 1.5TB RAID 0 is almost reach its end of life. Getting Error -36 most of the times. Darn, extremely needing extra cash to get new drives.

To add to my agony, two hours ago, my Rusa clutch plate gave up on me. So right now onwards, I am immobile.

The good side, my friends gave me a prepaid card and a handphone to keep me reachable. My new other number is 016-237 6324. It is temporary and I hope to get my 017 online once my financial status settled.

And above all, my family and me are still sane and surprisingly, still full of laughter. LOLZ

OK. Back to main topic. This month is the anniversary month for our bamboo rafting endeavor. This is the fourth trip there. This is the Alumni Mass Comm Ning site admin event. It is open to all Mass Commites, family, relatives and friends. Only this time, the place we going is different. The lodging will be a bamboo house replicating orang asli house, better amenities and this time we may be able to try using "sumpit." After 3 trips, we finally going to an Orang Asli event, "bersewang."

I designed and redesigned the tee-shirt logo and did some promo on the Ning site this time too.

First initial design

Current Design

Details on the event can be read here.

Now I need to figure out what I can do to fix my Rusa. If D.I.Y. can solve it, alhamdulillah. If not my empty pocket gonna get burn much deeper. Ouchhhhhhhhh

Happy New Year

Oddly, we already celebrated new year like 2 weeks before today. It's January 1st. Had a great get together with fellow seniors and juniors from Alumni Mass Comm. Had a ball of fun, Q n A games and proposing 2010 events. The food...MARVELOUS.

As usual, most of the time spent was with Sager, a NSTP writer whom have a lot of historical knowledge especially in WW2 and military. We chatted till 5am and at the same time, peek at the moon to see the lunar eclipse. We did saw it but thought it is supposed to be a half eclipse. Found out today, it is just a 1/10 eclipse. Sigh.

Slept at 7 am and woke up when my client arrived to preview my work.

After Friday prayers, went to my brother's house for a family get together. It is my brother and sisters birthday event. Eat some more. There goes my one month diet. LOLZ

Wanted to start my new year with giving, not receiving. So sesi bayar hutang ler. Sikit je but it really gives me the satisfaction and prayed hard it will be continuous throughout 2010.

A quick basuh kain hostel style and a mopped up of the upstairs rooms. Later tonite, I'll make the kitchen in order again. Just a birthday gift for my wife before she comes back from Tganu. CLEAN THE HOUSE UP.

Ouch... 10pm a quick gaming guys get together. better clean up now.

A hectic day but I am happy. InsyaAllah, 2010 will be good to me.

BTW I am teaching again in UiTM. 4 Credit hours/week and the subject; Animation Techniques. More refined and the students gonna have a lot of work LOLZ

Cheerio.

Am I healed?

After 1 and 3/4 years, I no longer wear a bandage over my wound. But the right thigh and leg still a bit swollen. Maybe come January, I won't used the handicap sticker on my car anymore. LOLZ.

Need to get outdoor jobs now like directing. Been awhile since I last directed a corporate video.

Anyway, cheerio. I am smilling even life is hard now.

-bob

3D Character Animation - Hair Test Render

Ever since I got the offer to create a 3D cartoon programme, I am back to my Cinema 4D, exploring on character animation. All this while, I am into structural animation i.e engineering. broadcast montage, architectural work. Started with the now defunct Infini-D, a short time with Softimage, then FormZ for modeling and Electric Image for rendering. I only started on Cinema4D in 2001. But it was always job-based projects that made me use this app and nothing on characters.

When people ask me for Character Animation. I will declined as the first few attempts resulted to the character limping and doing odd movements. It was frustating. So for many years, I was stucked with structural animation.

Mid of this year, I was offered to lecture in UiTM and guess what, the subject is animation. Nothing fancy, just to get the students to understand the process and mainly it is based on 2D animation. I based my lectures on After Effects and man, the students learn and I learn more on animation as never before. I tried Anime Studio Pro and find it is based on 3D rigging process. Making the understanding on character animation increased within that semester. I don't know whether I be called again next semester. I hope they will.

Ok back to character animation. The industry here always refer character animation to Maya and I have not a clue on Maya. The interface is a bit frightening for me to try since I heard the learning curve is kinda steep. I am targeting to get a short animation done by end of December, just in time for next semester class. If I can prove the C4D can provide easier and better process in developing a TV programme, I want them to get the licenses for the project. I find it much intuitive and the learning curve ain't so steep.

I have developed a few characters and every single one is improving my skill. Need to explore more before I can make a conclusion on this. BTW I am a self-learned person. No training, just explore the web for solutions and try to apply it on my projects. http://www.cineversity.com and http://www.c4dcafe.com/ are darn good place to find an idea how this app work.

Anyway, I have been testing the hair module to see how it interacts with movement. Been on it countless of time, tried but the result was very unsatisfactory. Today, I finally made a quite good hair setup. It just suddenly click into my mind on how to do about it. As it usually does after months stopwork and kickstarting it back.

I am also still in developing the best process of rigging the characters I have made. The first few attempts has made the character move, wink, smile. I even manage to Expresso the linkage between different set of polygons so it will move seamlessly together. Errr I am referring to the beard. And yes, it is a 3D cartoon of me. When I got everything prepped and rendered, I might show it here.

The character in the video above is not me. I am creating heads and give character to it and this is one of it. The facial has no reference, just from the back of my mind. A female character is in progress. Darn, I still have problems on the curve :-(

OK enjoy the 3 sec-movie. Maybe later it will be longer...

Cheerio.

My first FKMM UITM Animation Students.

The Class classification BRO532. I am teaching as part time. A four hour a week class for 14 weeks. The class every Tuesday. Lepasler bayar bil he he he

Good bunch of guys and gals. I was teaching the basic of animation. To get them to understand the process of animation. Since the facility has limited apps. I used Adobe After Effects as the basis of animation process.

The rest are more on concepts and reference to existing work.

I am going to Shah Alam tomorrow to key in the result.

No worries everyone pass but it's either from B+ to A+.

Sorry I still confused with the gals name. Susah bebenor nak ingat nama pompuan. Nasib baik nama bini ingat ha ha ha

:-)

My first 3D Character with IK

It's been a while since my last posting. Been busy though not that really busy LOLZ

I showcasing my 3D character. Supposed to be used on a job but it got rejected outright for a rushed trailer. And I mean RUSHED. So I stop work without implementing animation. This was the first initial draft design and I was planning to improve it. But then client just said I don't want it. What to do.

The concept of 3D character design, you build a basic design and add on to enhance it. I guess they don't know the concept.

Anyway, I will be using this character for an animation short since it is built based on my sketches, it is rightfully mine to make use. BTW this was made using Cinema4D. Cool and simple app.

Whatever it is, this was one of my few attempts that made it to be IKed and given bones to move.

A few more versions and new characters are made to settle the facial, muscles, physique, clothing and expressions. Then the character is complete.

After years of saying I can't do character animation, everything clique in now thanks to the animation class I am teaching and this character is not limping like last time.

Till next time.

No teats LOLZ coz it will be covered by clothes.

ha ha ha he laughs

he is stunned

back view

tgh kemam

wink wink. Face muscles distorted. need amendments

lets rock LOLZ

peace bros n sis.

Doa

Got an interesting msg on my FB. "Semuga sembuh cepat Bro...provided you keep your dua's in Arabic...in English it will lagging/delay a bit."

Hello..... What crap is this? Allah have made us and from there, we have our languages. Now, why do Arabic will get the preferences when you put your hands up asking for forgiveness or maybe for giving us rezeki after we worked hard towards achieving it? Does these people understand that what is important is the heart and soul understanding what you are doing and reacting. I admit I can read the Arabic and Jawi but I didn't have the opportunity to understand every single words. I read from the translation. The keyword is UNDERSTANDING. If we just ameen to words we don't understand, don't you feel odd of saying aye to some words that you can't make head or tails of it. I am not saying we should not learn it. I picked up some words so I can understand what is being said in Arabic but to recite back a doa, I'll be murmuring a long the way. I rather said in Malay because I understand it and if there are makmums, they understand it too.

So to the less unfortunate that didn't had the opportunity to learn Arabic, don't panic. Doa in a language you understand. It gives you that feeling of repentance if you want to cleanse your heart and soul, the feeling of thankfulness when you want to thank Allah for the rezeki He brings to us and the feeling of serenity when you doa for the life you are having. When you doa, it goes direct to Him, there is no third party involved. It is just you and the alMighty. So, if I said it in Malay, does Allah understand what I am saying. You know the answer.

So, go ahead. Doa in the language you know what you asking, giving or just gratefulness. But if you have the luxury to learn Arabic, learn it and use it. But you must understand what you saying.

LOLZ What a message to receive in a wee morning of 5.20 am.

This is a ceramah by an American preacher..... (It is more on the heart)

I just simply can't sleep

The whole family is enjoying their holidays in Terengganu and I have to stay back because of some work need to be delivered this week. I knocked off right after Asar and woke up just before Isyak. Went out to buy some food - Soto and kueh apam. Got back and started to work on the long past due video project. I was doing it till Subuh. Then I realised I was still fresh. Lying down was not helping at all. I did some chores and went out to buy my bandages and plaster. Opps cash has run out.

Went back and thought I can knocked myself out. I still can't sleep. By 2pm, I was feeling a bit groggy and wanted to lie down. My handphone rang and my future client wanted a quotation el pronto. Oh No, the grogginess is gone.

If the client like the pricing I made. I'll be OK for the next 4 months. Please, Ya Allah, Open his heart to take my quote.

Now, I just took the bandages off, the wound is bleeding profusely. I just wipe it off, took a bath and self-bandage myself.

After a good bath, now I am starting to feel groggy again. Hope there is no more phone calls. I need to sleep.

Ahhh. Now it is raining. A nice mood to doze off or should I wait for Maghrib?

Ouch.......

-bob

Saka My Story - Chapter Three

"Tuhanlah sahaja yang mengetahui segala yang ghaib, maka Ia tidak memberitahu perkara ghaib yang diketahuiNya itu kepada sesiapapun, "

"(He Alone) the All-Knower of the Gha'ib (unseen), and He reveals to none His Gha'ib (unseen)."

Surah Al-Jinn: Verses 26

There were many occurrences that it is not normal and mind-boggling to the human minds. But then this world is not created for us only. Apart from the bacteria, wild-life, germs and God knows what. There are also iblis, satan or jin. These three are not in the human forms but they can appear to be looking just like us. For the malays, we are to be made known of a community that is unseen, which are orang bunian. They are said to live in a parallel world akin to ours. They look the same but we just don't see them unless using certain methods or the person is given the sight. The scientific world defines people who see these people are either hallucinating or having schizophrenia. During the period when the abilities was at its peak, I tend to see these people with my eyes close. Most of them are dressed in beautiful malay dressings with head dress and the ladies always use batik sarong to cover their head. But not all dressed as this. I do see them wearing just white clothing. Sometimes they appear to shape as human but the images is so blurry that you can't make out how they look like.

When was my first time with the unseen? Actually, I can't recalled. When I was a kid, I don't really believe the existence of the unseen. To me at that time, it is just my hallucinations or when the mind started to think of eerie things, then we will see them. When I stayed in my grandfather's house in the early 80s, I was the only one sleeping on the second floor. The house was Perak designed, had 13 windows and 6 rooms on the upper level. The ground floor have 3 rooms. The whole family slept on the ground floor. My late mother once told me that she slept on the right master room on the upper floor, there she was once stepped by something on her thigh and the mark of a footprint still can be seen till the day she died. She never goes upstairs. While on the left master room, after my late youngest uncle got married, they saw a head with red eyes was floating near the ceiling. They too never slept again on that floor.

Since I was a teenager, 13 at that time. I wanted privacy. So I took the room at the back near the backstairs. I will do my homework at the upper level living room and I was then "lurus bendul" on the unseen stuff. I remembered a full painting of my Mak Itam at the left corner of the living room. Everytime I goes upstairs, I always noticed the eyes was like followed to where I go. I just ignored it and always said out loud, "Alah, just my imagination." To cast my fears away, I will play my uncle LPS on his tabletop. And everytime I feel uneasy I will sing out loud to the tunes. But one thing I noticed was there will be a very strange tone to my ears exactly when the old clock chimed to 9 pm and midnight. Alhamdulillah, for 2 years, I see nothing though I do heard something at the ceiling or the back of the upper level. I just put that to rats, squirrels, foxes or just bats. I moved to the house my Dad built at the end of 1983.

When I entered ITM, I was the same me, a lurus bendul to the unseen. After broken up in a relationship in Part Three, I wanted privacy. So almost every Saturday and Sunday, I will go to the level and chose a room at the end of the corridor, opposite the library to study. I will bring enough snacks and drinks and will be there until 11pm. Yes, I do heard people coming in and out of classes when there was nobody around. I heard footsteps but there was no one. Door slamming, knocking and even the sound of a door being unlocked. I simply put to the theory of the wall absorbed the sound and at certain times will bounced back the noise. I simply put it there was no ghost. The guards whom patrolled the corridors always said I was crazy. I was a sceptic and at that time, put aside all strange things to a scientific deductions.
And yes, the centre elevator of the building will always opened at Level 6 and it is always pitch-black, my hair will never fail to stand every time it opened. I just put that it is just the elevator system having a malfunction to cast away my fears.

And, when I was doing Research and Statistics, we went to do the survey in Terengganu. When we had a breather, Rohan wanted to visit his relatives and I tagged along. We walked through Jalan Pusara at 10pm and came out at the other end almost 11pm. Who was at the stall in the middle of the graveyard whom you can't see their faces but I know there was a lady and three men sitting sipping their drinks. The next day, I passed through the same road on a motorcycle going at a very slow pace and clocked only 5 minutes. Why did it takes so long when we were almost like running and there was no stall when we thought there was one?

And, I stayed on 1411 when I was in Part Six. Little that I known that time the room upstairs was not occupied and the sound I heard of was not man-made. I only know about it after I've joined AMC and the story was related by my super-duper seniors. It was said that a student from that room trying to escape fell to his death and the room was haunted till today.

When I was working at a computer company in Jalan Telawi, Bangsar. It was on the second floor above England Opticals. I practically sleep at the office while doing my work and research. One particular night around 2 am, I was still at the studio working on some multimedia work on the PowerMac Quadra 950. The studio was at the back located right beside the restrooms. Suddenly the light in the restroom started to blink incessantly. It was bothering my concentration, so I walked to switch off the light. When I looked at the display area, all the lights was on, all the windows ajar and all the computer was switched on. Even the main door was opened wide. As I recalled, I have closed every window and switched off everything in the front area. In my first thought it was the boss younger brother pulling a prank on me. So I yelled his name and said it was not funny. When I have done, I continued my work. A few minutes later, the restroom light blinked incessantly again. This time I felt something different as I have switched it off. I walked again to switch it off. I looked to the front and saw the whole display area lit up and the computer was being started up. The hair stands up. I just slowly closed back everything and picked up my helmet and went home. LOLZ The next day, I asked the boss brother and he said he didn't come to the office last night. He then told me about the office. He never stayed back because of one night while he was making out, the studio suddenly was alive with the drums, guitars and keyboard being played. When he checked the studio, there was no one. Alhamdulillah, that was my only occurrences. Maybe they got fed up with me ignoring them and continued staying back and even sleep at the office. There was no more occurrences.
To me at that time, the unseen do exist but to quashed my fear, I put reasoning to cast away my fears. And if something odd happened, I just walked away. Or my lurus bendul attitude towards the unseen save the day. he he he.

But one incidence really spooked me up. It was my first time seeing the unseen through my closed eyes, I was 24 (25 by year), still young and oblivious to the unseen. . It was 1994 in Kuala Berang, Terengganu and I have no understanding of the unseen at the time. I have been sending my girlfriend to her parent house and the family welcome my presence. Well, they later become my in-laws. During that time, my girlfriend's younger brothers and sister had thalassemia. Their parent tried many methods to cure them apart from the monthly blood transfusion. One of their relatives was a medicine woman and lived in Kuala Berang and they wanted to see whether she can help.

So when I came, they took me along to the place. They told me that the husband whom had only been to Makkah can speak any language you throw at him. It created an interest in me to see it for myself. When we arrived, the family went in. I stayed outside and the brothers introduced me to the husband and I took the liberty to ask him in my rusty French. I asked "Tu parlez le francais?" He answered "Oui." I asked what is his name. And he start to speak in French, though it is very toned with the Terengganu slang. But he actually speak French. I was dumbfounded. I asked him in Malay how can he speak the language. He said when a person speak in other language, he can simply understand and he speak as if to him, he is speaking Malay. He said that he can understand and speak any language after he had a dream that his internal organs was taken out, cleansed and put back in. He then continued to tend his orchard.

Since it is a bit windy even though the sun is bright, I still don't want to enter the house. So I sat with the brothers to get to know them better. The brothers; aruah Tarmizi and Bukhory was very chatty. We talked a lot about toys and miniature models. Then suddenly a topic came out about orang bunian. They claimed since they were young, they always see the orang bunians. They even related that were once saved by these orang bunians when the van they were in skidded into a canal and sunk. All passed out but when they came to their senses, they were lying side by side wet at the side road and there are no one around. I just laughed and said "ye ke?" They continued saying that these orang bunians looks like us, dressed like us but they have more advance technology than us. They lived in a high rise, right like the one on that hill. They pointed to the hill right in front of me. I suddenly felt a goose-bump up my neck and hands. Being 12 and 13 at the time, they even said they played with the orang bunians PlayStation and it was more advance than Sony PS One. I just laughed. But then I suddenly stood up and said, "Jom, masuk, ada orang nak datang." I felt a bit weird to even saying that word.

When I put a step into the house, immediately there was a loud thunder and the wind blew really hard. The bright afternoon suddenly darkened in a matter of seconds. Inside the house, the medicine woman screamed and I saw her slapped my girlfriend's father arm. I felt so weird inside the house but then I just sit down facing her. She continued to speak to the mother and father. I was not paying attention to what she was saying as I felt so uneasy. She then closed her eyes and when she opened it, she will start to give instruction or explaining on something.

I felt a sudden urge to press my left toe hard. And when I did that, I closed my eyes. There right beside her, I saw a person wearing a green robe and green serban with a yellow lining on it. The person look more like a caucasian. I immediately opened my eyes and saw nothing. I closed my eyes again and there he is again. So I keep closing and opening my eyes, disbelieving what I am seeing at that moment. The person was whispering to the medicine woman while she was closing her eyes. And when he finished whispering, she started to talk. The situation is like a chipsmore ad,"Now you see it, now you don't."

I was a bit in a shock and didn't say a word about it. But I do remembered I was sweating profusely. When the mother start asking about me, I closed my eyes and see the person was looking at me and smiling. I wanted to just get out of the house but I don't want to insult my girlfriend's family. I kept quite throughout the whole session. Startled, stunned, dumbfounded at the situation.
When we left the house, I sat at the back of the van with the brothers. I asked,

"Siapa orang yang pakai jubah hijau tadi, Mami?"

The father immediately stopped the van and everyone looked at me suprised.

I asked, "Kenapa?"

The mother asked "Mu nampak orang pakai jubah kat rumah tadi."

I replied, "Ha ah, kenapa?"

The mother just said, "Takpe, kat rumoh kita cerite."

Once we reached home, the mother told me that it is a strange thing for a person to be able to see the green robe person. He will usually appear in the dreams after they visited the medicine woman. All of them had that dream and felt strange why I can see it there and then. The mother suddenly said she has a pain on her arm. I immediately asked the brothers to bring me coconut oil, salt and onion. I mixed it and squashed the onions and passed it to her. She just smiled and asked how do I know this is the remedy. I was taken aback for I don't really know. I just simply know and reacted to ask for it without thinking. And I suddenly realised she was testing me.

The mother and I had a long chat where she relates her background and who was the person I saw at the house. She said the person was actually the son of the medicine woman. When she gave birth, a white snake was delivered together with a baby. The baby disappeared right in front of her eyes. She had a dream the previous night that a person came to her and told her that she will have a twin. One of the twin will be taken care by them and the other one, she must take care regardless how the baby look. So, she tend to the snake and even gave her milk to it. After a few months, she had another dream that a person told her that the snake must be let go at a river for it will have a task to do. She did what she was told and the husband took the snake to the river. The snake speak to the husband to make sure his mother not to worry for they can see him as the bridge between Pulau Duyong and the mainland. Allahuallam, to believe this story was too far-fetched for me but I kept quite. After that day, I got closer to the mother.

A few months later on my next trip, I asked for the hands of my girlfriend. She openly accepted me and so does the whole family. I got engaged and married my girlfriend on 10 Syawal 1995. The mother is now my mother-in-law. The brothers died a few years later. Tarmizi passed away at the age of 17 and Bukhory followed a few months later at the age of 16. The sister died at the age of 21, a few months after my mother passed away. The medicine woman and the husband also had passed away in the late 90s.

At that time, I was always a sceptic on these paranormal things. I tend to believe at that time there were ghost and ghouls. I don't disturb them, and I hoped they won't disturb me. But things is not to be like what I hoped. I came across many occurrences. Crossing path with the unseen was too often and I am lucky I can't see them with my eyes. Though at certain times, they do appeared from nowhere. Terima je lah.

Wound is bleeding

I don't know whether I should hit the panic button or be happy. My wound is bleeding profusely now, as far as I see it the nerve is rebuilding itself causing the blood to flow out from the wound. Body a bit weaken but I am still have a strong mind. The swollen due to water retention has reduced remarkably. Movement is a bit restricted because after 12 months, my right left always felt numb, I now feeling pain. The wound as my wide sees it is a beaut.  Clean wound. Alhamdulillah.

Apart from that, my social life will be restricted and I know I won't be able to direct any videos for the next few weeks till my wound recover. I am stuck to doing post production. My corporate video I directed is completed but I felt I won't see the balance payment coming as the client has left the country. Hope he remember to pay up. :-(. But then rezeki is always there, I did the concept idea using 3D for Orang Kampong. And they buy it and create a 3D animation ad. I did not do it because I lack character animation. I did the VO (My voice),  music composition and sound effects. Will upload for all to see in my youtube. find bobazhar69. All my video stuff is in there. he he he And still await payment. Hope this one also not leaving the country too LOLZ

Another work is doing CGI and Visual Effects for the film Cyber-X. Hope the client happy with the idea to make his movie interesting.

Till then 

-bob

Saka- My Story Chapter Two

Chapter Two

It is always synonym that if you a Bugis, there bound to be a Saka attached to you or to one of your family member.  If you don't have any problems with the unseen, praise to Allah, you can be living normally as a human being. I am not saying those with Saka attached can't lead a normal life, we can actually. It is how we handle it and how strong is our mind and soul.

Well, actually Saka is not an unseen property for the Bugis only. I've seen Chinese saka, wearing Manchus attire and wielding a really big sword and another looking like a very big belly wise man. (Happened at a friend's house in 2001) I've seen a Javanese girl with her Saka, lepaking in the back seat of her car. Give a fright because I thought it was a man trying to kidnap her. (happened right in front of Concept Comm office). I still waiting to see a Mat Salleh saka LOLZ.

As I have written in the last chapter, I only see them when my eyes closed. When the eyes closed, the surrounding at first is pitch black and then the shape of the surrounding materializes. Then if there is any unseen thing, you either can see as a person or just maybe, a light shaping like a human being. Never once, I've seen them in gory form. Always as human. Alhamdulillah. And better still, now I won't see them all the time I close my eyes. The ability is now intermittent. Boy, am I glad.

Back in 1998, right after the initiation which I never asked for. Things seem to be very weird and sometimes mind-boggling. At first, it was just the ability to read minds. Then, my mouth will speak out without control when asked on certain things. The answer mostly are not thought off, it just flowed. Then one night, my school buddy, Ilham asked me what is Abang Nuar is doing now while we was in his car. A screen just appeared in front of me and I can see the old man was opening a safe at a house. I asked my buddy to call him and asked him, whose money is he counting. On that screen, I see the old man picked up the phone, then looked around him and asked, how do you know? My buddy said "Bob yang suruh tanya." The old man asked us to come to his house in an hour. So we went there. The old man asked me how I come to know what he is doing. I just related to him what happened in the car. He was a bit suprised as he usually have a barrier to deny people to see what he is doing. I just said " I don't know, it just happened." He just said, "You are different." I told him that I really felt it is a bit weird to pry on someone. What if when someone asked for a person, and that person is having some intimate moments. It will be like watching a free live porno. LOLZ

The old man just said, you will come to grasp these abilities in due time. I told him that I would rather not have all these except one ability; to be able to hear a person speak in other languages and then can even speak back to them in that languages without the need to learn it. Sigh. The ability I am still not getting till today. If not, I'll be traveling around the world now.

As for my ability to read people minds, my buddy Ilham whom I flashed as a businessman, got better ideas to make use of my abilities. When he goes on a business meeting, I will be asked to tag along for the discussion. In return, he will belanja me makan and gae me some petrol money. I remembered one particular meeting at PJ Hilton, we are supposed to meet up with an old lady and her son. The discussion was about a land deal in Sabah.  The minute I saw them, I keep getting this words, tipu, tipu, tipu. So I keep my cool and just listen to the discussion. At the end of the discussion, my buddy asked me,

"Anything?"

I told him to steer clear from these people. And a few days later, I read the papers and one column was written about a lady and her son being arrested for trying to scam. Mmmmm.  So from late 98 to early 99, I was known as Mr Scanner until I find it depressing as most of the people I met in the discussion are mostly con-artist and calls it quit.

Another ability which I wish I never had was the ability to see a person whom within the forty days before their life ends. It is just written on their faces. I see it but the rest can't. It really hurts me because most I saw was my relatives. The first was my brother-in-law. He had Thalassemia and so were the other brother and sister. Two weeks before he died we went back to Terengganu for a visit. I just couldn't look his face. I just know he was nearing the date of embarkation to the other side but I don't know when the exact date. He passed away at the age of 17. 3 months after he passed away, we came again to visit and bring back my son. I left my baby son there to make my in-laws occupied. When we came to the house yard, the other brother in law was playing. As I came to a stop, my first word uttered out loud was "Ya Allah, he is also within days." The next day, I brought him to A&W at pantai Battu Burok with my wife. We took photos together but when we send for processing that photo session at A&W were blanks. A week later, the dreaded phone call came and my brother in laws has passed away.  The most heart breaking was when my Mom was admitted to the hospital because of the pain my mother was having. I came immediately to the hospital, and then I saw that look. Under the eyes was black spots and the eyes was very strange.

I broke to tears and told my brother,

"Along tak nampak ke? Mak dah dalam hari."

My brother just said

"Tak ada ler, Mak rindu kat anak perempuan dia je. Tak ada apa-apa."

She was discharged a few days later and later on readmitted on a different sickness. This time it was diabetic-related sickness. Then she had pain at her lower back. And everytime I went to the hospital I still will see that look. And I couldn't bear to see my mother in pain. So, I just took the initiative and place my palm on her back to relief her of her pain. I just said praises to the prophet and Allah, and lay my hand. I didn't rub or massage. I just lay my hands there. The pain she felt ebbed away and I always end up burping. And after that session, my hand became so red. And since I have no recollection of how to cleanse the hand, I left it be and went home. That night, I had a dream that my body was in pain and being pulled into the earth. It was so painful and when I woke up, I end up with a very sore back. I made an oath that I would rather face the pain rather than my mother had to endure it. At that time I was involved in a studio shoot in MMU for Kirawang's Game Show. So every other day, I will go to the hospital and lay my hands on her. I even once lay my hand and slept beside her. And that every night, I face the unbearable pain. I am just glad to see my mother was relieved of her pain. That was all I can afford to do. She still have that look. A week later, I found out I can actually washed off the redness on my palm by just running water on the hand and says praises to Allah and the prophet. Since then, I have no more pain on my back at night. I continued doing the palm session till she was discharged. Then when on a Wednesday, I asked my friend to drop me to my parents' house. I saw her in her telekung on the chair reciting the Quran. I came to her and apologised to her for any mistakes, words or action that had made her mad at me. I hugged her and kissed her cheek. Profusely, asking for forgiveness. I asked her to doa for my success for the sake of her grandchildren.

On Friday, Oct 25, 2004, I was a bit happy that I have received some payments and went shopping for a new TV. We passed by Ulu Kelang but I refrained myself of dropping by that day as I am planning to celebrate my third son. I bought a cake with the flavour loved by my mother.  That night at 2am, I was about to start my editing at Kirawang. The phone rang. My sister asked me to come to the house and hang up, I called back my parents' house and my cousin answered. She just said my mother has passed away. I just hang up and look down the floor. No tears came. I just typed an SMS message and sent to everyone in the phone. And I sat there for an hour, disbelieving what has happened. I know she was in her days but it still made me blurred. When I reached home to fetch my family, the minute I entered the master bedroom. I burst to tears. We were the last of the family to arrive. I was the last to kiss her forehead before she was wrapped and I was the last to touch her face so her face will touch the soil in her graves. To me, I have done my duty for my mother. The mother that gave birth to me and raised me to what I am today. I am utterly grateful to her and I still miss her till today. Man, I don't know why I going off the topic but I suddenly realized her birthday is just a few days away. June 2nd, happy birthday, mak. AlFatihah.

OK, Back to the story.

After my Mom passed away. And after the whole family chatted with her after the tahlil. Oh did I said my family is a bit weird? LOLZ. yes, we had a chat with my Mom that night. I asked her some things that only me and her knows and the answer was correct. And I was burping, the same burp I usually had when I lay my palm on her back. So every time I burped mysteriously at the time, I know she was there. The burping was gone after 40 days.

All this while I was having these abilities and that one ability, I would rather not having. So I thought of how to reduce this abilities. I found out that if I told people about my abilities, it slowly becoming less and less. I met an old man and told him my abilities, and he confirmed that if I kept to my self, I can grow stronger and many abilities will emerged. I said no thank you. I rather lead a normal life. This was more of a curse than a gift. So I started to tell my stories to any tom, dick, jane and harry. And Alhamdulillah, I was not listening words when no one is speaking. But then at certain times, the abilities will come and go. I can't control it but it is not as bad as like having it every day. It is an intermittent occasion.

Opps the timeline is disrupted. I missed a few stories he he he.

OK Back to 1999, after I had my Saka and these abilities, I was a bit scared. Scared I becoming riak or becoming too engrossed in unseen phenomena. With a stroke of luck, one of my three buddies that night wanted to know a bit more about tasauf. He knows that the old man has many experience. Since, I was more closer to the old man, my buddy always bring me along to see the old man. So we start to discuss about it. The topics were very weird and definitely out of human minds. For example, he related the story of why the jari hantu (middle finger) is called jari hantu. Don't asked me the story because whatever story he told me, I just can't remember it. Another is about every movement in our prayers, it resembles "alif, ba, ta ......" Then he will start to ask my buddy questions. Weird questions. Since I was not the one interested in learning, I just listened. But I always quitely answered the questions. One particular night, I was sitting on the stairs in the house, the old man was at the kitchen table while my buddy was lying on the floor trying hard to find the answer. I already answered the question and told the old man quitely. Suddenly, I saw this blurry image on top of my friend. It was a head with curly hairs and have a very tan skin tones. Looks more like an orang asli but the image was blurry.  It was shaking his head sideways and it was just the head! I was a bit shocked and quitely I asked the old man.

"Bang Nuar, abang nampak tak apa mende kat atas .......(" Bang Nuar, do you see what is on top of .....")

"Eh, Bob. Ko nampak ke kepala tu?" (Eh, Bob. You can see the head?")

"Ha, ah, sapa tu?" ("Yup, who is that?")

"Tak de, dia tu geleng kepala sebab kenapa ler kawan ko ni bengap sangat." ("Nah... He is shaking his head before your friend is too naive.")

Then the head just disappeared. Wow, what an experience. Seeing the head. LOLZ

It was almost three weeks of our discussion session, one day I paid a visit to my parents' house. My brother was there and I related the experience I had to my brother. My brother told me it was my time. He has his in Pasir Gudang. The person he talked to was a homeopathy seller. He kept seeing the person till his Saka came to him. So, he said it may happened at not at the same time and places but how I told him my experience, resembled his. My brother at time has the ability to see a person and can accurately describe the person and place. He tried to see the old man at Kg Baru. All he see was a short, stout person but he can see only his back. His description is accurate. I noticed my Dad was listening from afar and I sensed he was not happy about the topics we were talking. When I told my brother about the discussion on tasauf. My father just said.

"Udahler. jangan nak belajar benda-benda tu. Ko boleh jadi gila. Takpun, hidup susah nanti."

"Alang tak belajar, Abah. Kitaorang bincang je."

" Sama ler tu. Dah, Abah tak nak dengar ko belajar benda ini.

I felt strange why my Dad was a bit off about the topic. I later found out but that is in the later chapter.

One thing I found out about people whom are into tasauf, they tend not to do the compulsory five times a day prayers. It really disturbed me. I can't simply told him to pray as he is older than me. So I made an effort, for everyday after work at places which make Kg Baru as along the route home, I will dropped by his house to perform my prayers.

So. on one evening I dropped by to say my Maghrib prayer. Before I was about to go to the bathroom. The old man stopped me and told me he want to ask me a question. This is the last question and this will end the topic about the tasauf. And there is no thousands of zikr or bersolok. If I answered correctly, I am done.

The question was simple.

"Di mana tegaknya satu?"

So I hesitated to think, pulled out my pen and scribbled in Arabic the word Allah. I added the sabdu. I just pointed the line on top the sabdu. And said

"Di sini tegaknya satu."

By that word, he smiled and said,

"Kamu dah selesai."

"Amende dah selesai?"

"Ko mungkin tak merasa apa-apa sekarang tapi jiwa ko dah kenal diri ko. Ko akan rasa lain nanti, Bob."

I went back, slept and the next day, everything felt different. I was facing a bad financial year but at that moment, it didn't worries me. It is as if my perspective towards the world has changed overnight. And here I am, with a few bucks in hand, I was less worried and never felt happy. What had really happened? I now understand the meaning "Know thy self." If we know who we are in this world, we will not have the feeling of riak or looking down upon others. For some, they may called me maksum. I know it is just a word. I know I am not. I am just a person in this world, with God given abilities and Alhamdulillah, it also given me to know who I am.  The only mistake is I started to dig deeper to know myself and for that, the unseen seems to enjoy making my life misreable with test after test.




(To be continued)

Just for note: This is the old man of Kg Baru,

Toothache

Pulled out the tooth that has caused me severe headache for the past 3 weeks. I was totally broke to go to the dentist and my mother in law chipped in the make my suffering go away. Thanks Mami. Now the worries is my wound, swollen feet and my dislocated shoulder. Anyway, the mind is now clearer and I am raring to be doing all out work that I simply unabled to work on.

Alhamdulillah, the pain is gone and my mind is more focused. Hope things will get better.

InsyaAllah.