Need to get outdoor jobs now like directing. Been awhile since I last directed a corporate video.
Anyway, cheerio. I am smilling even life is hard now.
-bob
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Am I healed?
After 1 and 3/4 years, I no longer wear a bandage over my wound. But the right thigh and leg still a bit swollen. Maybe come January, I won't used the handicap sticker on my car anymore. LOLZ.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
3D Character Animation - Hair Test Render
Ever since I got the offer to create a 3D cartoon programme, I am back to my Cinema 4D, exploring on character animation. All this while, I am into structural animation i.e engineering. broadcast montage, architectural work. Started with the now defunct Infini-D, a short time with Softimage, then FormZ for modeling and Electric Image for rendering. I only started on Cinema4D in 2001. But it was always job-based projects that made me use this app and nothing on characters.
When people ask me for Character Animation. I will declined as the first few attempts resulted to the character limping and doing odd movements. It was frustating. So for many years, I was stucked with structural animation.
Mid of this year, I was offered to lecture in UiTM and guess what, the subject is animation. Nothing fancy, just to get the students to understand the process and mainly it is based on 2D animation. I based my lectures on After Effects and man, the students learn and I learn more on animation as never before. I tried Anime Studio Pro and find it is based on 3D rigging process. Making the understanding on character animation increased within that semester. I don't know whether I be called again next semester. I hope they will.
Ok back to character animation. The industry here always refer character animation to Maya and I have not a clue on Maya. The interface is a bit frightening for me to try since I heard the learning curve is kinda steep. I am targeting to get a short animation done by end of December, just in time for next semester class. If I can prove the C4D can provide easier and better process in developing a TV programme, I want them to get the licenses for the project. I find it much intuitive and the learning curve ain't so steep.
I have developed a few characters and every single one is improving my skill. Need to explore more before I can make a conclusion on this. BTW I am a self-learned person. No training, just explore the web for solutions and try to apply it on my projects. http://www.cineversity.com and http://www.c4dcafe.com/ are darn good place to find an idea how this app work.
Anyway, I have been testing the hair module to see how it interacts with movement. Been on it countless of time, tried but the result was very unsatisfactory. Today, I finally made a quite good hair setup. It just suddenly click into my mind on how to do about it. As it usually does after months stopwork and kickstarting it back.
I am also still in developing the best process of rigging the characters I have made. The first few attempts has made the character move, wink, smile. I even manage to Expresso the linkage between different set of polygons so it will move seamlessly together. Errr I am referring to the beard. And yes, it is a 3D cartoon of me. When I got everything prepped and rendered, I might show it here.
The character in the video above is not me. I am creating heads and give character to it and this is one of it. The facial has no reference, just from the back of my mind. A female character is in progress. Darn, I still have problems on the curve :-(
OK enjoy the 3 sec-movie. Maybe later it will be longer...
Cheerio.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
My first FKMM UITM Animation Students.
Good bunch of guys and gals. I was teaching the basic of animation. To get them to understand the process of animation. Since the facility has limited apps. I used Adobe After Effects as the basis of animation process.
The rest are more on concepts and reference to existing work.
I am going to Shah Alam tomorrow to key in the result.
No worries everyone pass but it's either from B+ to A+.
Sorry I still confused with the gals name. Susah bebenor nak ingat nama pompuan. Nasib baik nama bini ingat ha ha ha
:-)
Monday, November 16, 2009
My first 3D Character with IK
It's been a while since my last posting. Been busy though not that really busy LOLZ
I showcasing my 3D character. Supposed to be used on a job but it got rejected outright for a rushed trailer. And I mean RUSHED. So I stop work without implementing animation. This was the first initial draft design and I was planning to improve it. But then client just said I don't want it. What to do.
The concept of 3D character design, you build a basic design and add on to enhance it. I guess they don't know the concept.
Anyway, I will be using this character for an animation short since it is built based on my sketches, it is rightfully mine to make use. BTW this was made using Cinema4D. Cool and simple app.
Whatever it is, this was one of my few attempts that made it to be IKed and given bones to move.
A few more versions and new characters are made to settle the facial, muscles, physique, clothing and expressions. Then the character is complete.
After years of saying I can't do character animation, everything clique in now thanks to the animation class I am teaching and this character is not limping like last time.
Till next time.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Doa
Got an interesting msg on my FB. "Semuga sembuh cepat Bro...provided you keep your dua's in Arabic...in English it will lagging/delay a bit."
Hello..... What crap is this? Allah have made us and from there, we have our languages. Now, why do Arabic will get the preferences when you put your hands up asking for forgiveness or maybe for giving us rezeki after we worked hard towards achieving it? Does these people understand that what is important is the heart and soul understanding what you are doing and reacting. I admit I can read the Arabic and Jawi but I didn't have the opportunity to understand every single words. I read from the translation. The keyword is UNDERSTANDING. If we just ameen to words we don't understand, don't you feel odd of saying aye to some words that you can't make head or tails of it. I am not saying we should not learn it. I picked up some words so I can understand what is being said in Arabic but to recite back a doa, I'll be murmuring a long the way. I rather said in Malay because I understand it and if there are makmums, they understand it too.
Hello..... What crap is this? Allah have made us and from there, we have our languages. Now, why do Arabic will get the preferences when you put your hands up asking for forgiveness or maybe for giving us rezeki after we worked hard towards achieving it? Does these people understand that what is important is the heart and soul understanding what you are doing and reacting. I admit I can read the Arabic and Jawi but I didn't have the opportunity to understand every single words. I read from the translation. The keyword is UNDERSTANDING. If we just ameen to words we don't understand, don't you feel odd of saying aye to some words that you can't make head or tails of it. I am not saying we should not learn it. I picked up some words so I can understand what is being said in Arabic but to recite back a doa, I'll be murmuring a long the way. I rather said in Malay because I understand it and if there are makmums, they understand it too.
So to the less unfortunate that didn't had the opportunity to learn Arabic, don't panic. Doa in a language you understand. It gives you that feeling of repentance if you want to cleanse your heart and soul, the feeling of thankfulness when you want to thank Allah for the rezeki He brings to us and the feeling of serenity when you doa for the life you are having. When you doa, it goes direct to Him, there is no third party involved. It is just you and the alMighty. So, if I said it in Malay, does Allah understand what I am saying. You know the answer.
So, go ahead. Doa in the language you know what you asking, giving or just gratefulness. But if you have the luxury to learn Arabic, learn it and use it. But you must understand what you saying.
LOLZ What a message to receive in a wee morning of 5.20 am.
This is a ceramah by an American preacher..... (It is more on the heart)
Monday, June 08, 2009
I just simply can't sleep
The whole family is enjoying their holidays in Terengganu and I have to stay back because of some work need to be delivered this week. I knocked off right after Asar and woke up just before Isyak. Went out to buy some food - Soto and kueh apam. Got back and started to work on the long past due video project. I was doing it till Subuh. Then I realised I was still fresh. Lying down was not helping at all. I did some chores and went out to buy my bandages and plaster. Opps cash has run out.
Went back and thought I can knocked myself out. I still can't sleep. By 2pm, I was feeling a bit groggy and wanted to lie down. My handphone rang and my future client wanted a quotation el pronto. Oh No, the grogginess is gone.
If the client like the pricing I made. I'll be OK for the next 4 months. Please, Ya Allah, Open his heart to take my quote.
Now, I just took the bandages off, the wound is bleeding profusely. I just wipe it off, took a bath and self-bandage myself.
After a good bath, now I am starting to feel groggy again. Hope there is no more phone calls. I need to sleep.
Ahhh. Now it is raining. A nice mood to doze off or should I wait for Maghrib?
Ouch.......
-bob
Went back and thought I can knocked myself out. I still can't sleep. By 2pm, I was feeling a bit groggy and wanted to lie down. My handphone rang and my future client wanted a quotation el pronto. Oh No, the grogginess is gone.
If the client like the pricing I made. I'll be OK for the next 4 months. Please, Ya Allah, Open his heart to take my quote.
Now, I just took the bandages off, the wound is bleeding profusely. I just wipe it off, took a bath and self-bandage myself.
After a good bath, now I am starting to feel groggy again. Hope there is no more phone calls. I need to sleep.
Ahhh. Now it is raining. A nice mood to doze off or should I wait for Maghrib?
Ouch.......
-bob
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Saka My Story - Chapter Three
"Tuhanlah sahaja yang mengetahui segala yang ghaib, maka Ia tidak memberitahu perkara ghaib yang diketahuiNya itu kepada sesiapapun, "
"(He Alone) the All-Knower of the Gha'ib (unseen), and He reveals to none His Gha'ib (unseen)."
Surah Al-Jinn: Verses 26
There were many occurrences that it is not normal and mind-boggling to the human minds. But then this world is not created for us only. Apart from the bacteria, wild-life, germs and God knows what. There are also iblis, satan or jin. These three are not in the human forms but they can appear to be looking just like us. For the malays, we are to be made known of a community that is unseen, which are orang bunian. They are said to live in a parallel world akin to ours. They look the same but we just don't see them unless using certain methods or the person is given the sight. The scientific world defines people who see these people are either hallucinating or having schizophrenia. During the period when the abilities was at its peak, I tend to see these people with my eyes close. Most of them are dressed in beautiful malay dressings with head dress and the ladies always use batik sarong to cover their head. But not all dressed as this. I do see them wearing just white clothing. Sometimes they appear to shape as human but the images is so blurry that you can't make out how they look like.
When was my first time with the unseen? Actually, I can't recalled. When I was a kid, I don't really believe the existence of the unseen. To me at that time, it is just my hallucinations or when the mind started to think of eerie things, then we will see them. When I stayed in my grandfather's house in the early 80s, I was the only one sleeping on the second floor. The house was Perak designed, had 13 windows and 6 rooms on the upper level. The ground floor have 3 rooms. The whole family slept on the ground floor. My late mother once told me that she slept on the right master room on the upper floor, there she was once stepped by something on her thigh and the mark of a footprint still can be seen till the day she died. She never goes upstairs. While on the left master room, after my late youngest uncle got married, they saw a head with red eyes was floating near the ceiling. They too never slept again on that floor.
Since I was a teenager, 13 at that time. I wanted privacy. So I took the room at the back near the backstairs. I will do my homework at the upper level living room and I was then "lurus bendul" on the unseen stuff. I remembered a full painting of my Mak Itam at the left corner of the living room. Everytime I goes upstairs, I always noticed the eyes was like followed to where I go. I just ignored it and always said out loud, "Alah, just my imagination." To cast my fears away, I will play my uncle LPS on his tabletop. And everytime I feel uneasy I will sing out loud to the tunes. But one thing I noticed was there will be a very strange tone to my ears exactly when the old clock chimed to 9 pm and midnight. Alhamdulillah, for 2 years, I see nothing though I do heard something at the ceiling or the back of the upper level. I just put that to rats, squirrels, foxes or just bats. I moved to the house my Dad built at the end of 1983.
When I entered ITM, I was the same me, a lurus bendul to the unseen. After broken up in a relationship in Part Three, I wanted privacy. So almost every Saturday and Sunday, I will go to the level and chose a room at the end of the corridor, opposite the library to study. I will bring enough snacks and drinks and will be there until 11pm. Yes, I do heard people coming in and out of classes when there was nobody around. I heard footsteps but there was no one. Door slamming, knocking and even the sound of a door being unlocked. I simply put to the theory of the wall absorbed the sound and at certain times will bounced back the noise. I simply put it there was no ghost. The guards whom patrolled the corridors always said I was crazy. I was a sceptic and at that time, put aside all strange things to a scientific deductions.
And yes, the centre elevator of the building will always opened at Level 6 and it is always pitch-black, my hair will never fail to stand every time it opened. I just put that it is just the elevator system having a malfunction to cast away my fears.
And, when I was doing Research and Statistics, we went to do the survey in Terengganu. When we had a breather, Rohan wanted to visit his relatives and I tagged along. We walked through Jalan Pusara at 10pm and came out at the other end almost 11pm. Who was at the stall in the middle of the graveyard whom you can't see their faces but I know there was a lady and three men sitting sipping their drinks. The next day, I passed through the same road on a motorcycle going at a very slow pace and clocked only 5 minutes. Why did it takes so long when we were almost like running and there was no stall when we thought there was one?
And, I stayed on 1411 when I was in Part Six. Little that I known that time the room upstairs was not occupied and the sound I heard of was not man-made. I only know about it after I've joined AMC and the story was related by my super-duper seniors. It was said that a student from that room trying to escape fell to his death and the room was haunted till today.
When I was working at a computer company in Jalan Telawi, Bangsar. It was on the second floor above England Opticals. I practically sleep at the office while doing my work and research. One particular night around 2 am, I was still at the studio working on some multimedia work on the PowerMac Quadra 950. The studio was at the back located right beside the restrooms. Suddenly the light in the restroom started to blink incessantly. It was bothering my concentration, so I walked to switch off the light. When I looked at the display area, all the lights was on, all the windows ajar and all the computer was switched on. Even the main door was opened wide. As I recalled, I have closed every window and switched off everything in the front area. In my first thought it was the boss younger brother pulling a prank on me. So I yelled his name and said it was not funny. When I have done, I continued my work. A few minutes later, the restroom light blinked incessantly again. This time I felt something different as I have switched it off. I walked again to switch it off. I looked to the front and saw the whole display area lit up and the computer was being started up. The hair stands up. I just slowly closed back everything and picked up my helmet and went home. LOLZ The next day, I asked the boss brother and he said he didn't come to the office last night. He then told me about the office. He never stayed back because of one night while he was making out, the studio suddenly was alive with the drums, guitars and keyboard being played. When he checked the studio, there was no one. Alhamdulillah, that was my only occurrences. Maybe they got fed up with me ignoring them and continued staying back and even sleep at the office. There was no more occurrences.
To me at that time, the unseen do exist but to quashed my fear, I put reasoning to cast away my fears. And if something odd happened, I just walked away. Or my lurus bendul attitude towards the unseen save the day. he he he.
But one incidence really spooked me up. It was my first time seeing the unseen through my closed eyes, I was 24 (25 by year), still young and oblivious to the unseen. . It was 1994 in Kuala Berang, Terengganu and I have no understanding of the unseen at the time. I have been sending my girlfriend to her parent house and the family welcome my presence. Well, they later become my in-laws. During that time, my girlfriend's younger brothers and sister had thalassemia. Their parent tried many methods to cure them apart from the monthly blood transfusion. One of their relatives was a medicine woman and lived in Kuala Berang and they wanted to see whether she can help.
So when I came, they took me along to the place. They told me that the husband whom had only been to Makkah can speak any language you throw at him. It created an interest in me to see it for myself. When we arrived, the family went in. I stayed outside and the brothers introduced me to the husband and I took the liberty to ask him in my rusty French. I asked "Tu parlez le francais?" He answered "Oui." I asked what is his name. And he start to speak in French, though it is very toned with the Terengganu slang. But he actually speak French. I was dumbfounded. I asked him in Malay how can he speak the language. He said when a person speak in other language, he can simply understand and he speak as if to him, he is speaking Malay. He said that he can understand and speak any language after he had a dream that his internal organs was taken out, cleansed and put back in. He then continued to tend his orchard.
Since it is a bit windy even though the sun is bright, I still don't want to enter the house. So I sat with the brothers to get to know them better. The brothers; aruah Tarmizi and Bukhory was very chatty. We talked a lot about toys and miniature models. Then suddenly a topic came out about orang bunian. They claimed since they were young, they always see the orang bunians. They even related that were once saved by these orang bunians when the van they were in skidded into a canal and sunk. All passed out but when they came to their senses, they were lying side by side wet at the side road and there are no one around. I just laughed and said "ye ke?" They continued saying that these orang bunians looks like us, dressed like us but they have more advance technology than us. They lived in a high rise, right like the one on that hill. They pointed to the hill right in front of me. I suddenly felt a goose-bump up my neck and hands. Being 12 and 13 at the time, they even said they played with the orang bunians PlayStation and it was more advance than Sony PS One. I just laughed. But then I suddenly stood up and said, "Jom, masuk, ada orang nak datang." I felt a bit weird to even saying that word.
When I put a step into the house, immediately there was a loud thunder and the wind blew really hard. The bright afternoon suddenly darkened in a matter of seconds. Inside the house, the medicine woman screamed and I saw her slapped my girlfriend's father arm. I felt so weird inside the house but then I just sit down facing her. She continued to speak to the mother and father. I was not paying attention to what she was saying as I felt so uneasy. She then closed her eyes and when she opened it, she will start to give instruction or explaining on something.
I felt a sudden urge to press my left toe hard. And when I did that, I closed my eyes. There right beside her, I saw a person wearing a green robe and green serban with a yellow lining on it. The person look more like a caucasian. I immediately opened my eyes and saw nothing. I closed my eyes again and there he is again. So I keep closing and opening my eyes, disbelieving what I am seeing at that moment. The person was whispering to the medicine woman while she was closing her eyes. And when he finished whispering, she started to talk. The situation is like a chipsmore ad,"Now you see it, now you don't."
I was a bit in a shock and didn't say a word about it. But I do remembered I was sweating profusely. When the mother start asking about me, I closed my eyes and see the person was looking at me and smiling. I wanted to just get out of the house but I don't want to insult my girlfriend's family. I kept quite throughout the whole session. Startled, stunned, dumbfounded at the situation.
When we left the house, I sat at the back of the van with the brothers. I asked,
"Siapa orang yang pakai jubah hijau tadi, Mami?"
The father immediately stopped the van and everyone looked at me suprised.
I asked, "Kenapa?"
The mother asked "Mu nampak orang pakai jubah kat rumah tadi."
I replied, "Ha ah, kenapa?"
The mother just said, "Takpe, kat rumoh kita cerite."
Once we reached home, the mother told me that it is a strange thing for a person to be able to see the green robe person. He will usually appear in the dreams after they visited the medicine woman. All of them had that dream and felt strange why I can see it there and then. The mother suddenly said she has a pain on her arm. I immediately asked the brothers to bring me coconut oil, salt and onion. I mixed it and squashed the onions and passed it to her. She just smiled and asked how do I know this is the remedy. I was taken aback for I don't really know. I just simply know and reacted to ask for it without thinking. And I suddenly realised she was testing me.
The mother and I had a long chat where she relates her background and who was the person I saw at the house. She said the person was actually the son of the medicine woman. When she gave birth, a white snake was delivered together with a baby. The baby disappeared right in front of her eyes. She had a dream the previous night that a person came to her and told her that she will have a twin. One of the twin will be taken care by them and the other one, she must take care regardless how the baby look. So, she tend to the snake and even gave her milk to it. After a few months, she had another dream that a person told her that the snake must be let go at a river for it will have a task to do. She did what she was told and the husband took the snake to the river. The snake speak to the husband to make sure his mother not to worry for they can see him as the bridge between Pulau Duyong and the mainland. Allahuallam, to believe this story was too far-fetched for me but I kept quite. After that day, I got closer to the mother.
A few months later on my next trip, I asked for the hands of my girlfriend. She openly accepted me and so does the whole family. I got engaged and married my girlfriend on 10 Syawal 1995. The mother is now my mother-in-law. The brothers died a few years later. Tarmizi passed away at the age of 17 and Bukhory followed a few months later at the age of 16. The sister died at the age of 21, a few months after my mother passed away. The medicine woman and the husband also had passed away in the late 90s.
At that time, I was always a sceptic on these paranormal things. I tend to believe at that time there were ghost and ghouls. I don't disturb them, and I hoped they won't disturb me. But things is not to be like what I hoped. I came across many occurrences. Crossing path with the unseen was too often and I am lucky I can't see them with my eyes. Though at certain times, they do appeared from nowhere. Terima je lah.
"(He Alone) the All-Knower of the Gha'ib (unseen), and He reveals to none His Gha'ib (unseen)."
Surah Al-Jinn: Verses 26
There were many occurrences that it is not normal and mind-boggling to the human minds. But then this world is not created for us only. Apart from the bacteria, wild-life, germs and God knows what. There are also iblis, satan or jin. These three are not in the human forms but they can appear to be looking just like us. For the malays, we are to be made known of a community that is unseen, which are orang bunian. They are said to live in a parallel world akin to ours. They look the same but we just don't see them unless using certain methods or the person is given the sight. The scientific world defines people who see these people are either hallucinating or having schizophrenia. During the period when the abilities was at its peak, I tend to see these people with my eyes close. Most of them are dressed in beautiful malay dressings with head dress and the ladies always use batik sarong to cover their head. But not all dressed as this. I do see them wearing just white clothing. Sometimes they appear to shape as human but the images is so blurry that you can't make out how they look like.
When was my first time with the unseen? Actually, I can't recalled. When I was a kid, I don't really believe the existence of the unseen. To me at that time, it is just my hallucinations or when the mind started to think of eerie things, then we will see them. When I stayed in my grandfather's house in the early 80s, I was the only one sleeping on the second floor. The house was Perak designed, had 13 windows and 6 rooms on the upper level. The ground floor have 3 rooms. The whole family slept on the ground floor. My late mother once told me that she slept on the right master room on the upper floor, there she was once stepped by something on her thigh and the mark of a footprint still can be seen till the day she died. She never goes upstairs. While on the left master room, after my late youngest uncle got married, they saw a head with red eyes was floating near the ceiling. They too never slept again on that floor.
Since I was a teenager, 13 at that time. I wanted privacy. So I took the room at the back near the backstairs. I will do my homework at the upper level living room and I was then "lurus bendul" on the unseen stuff. I remembered a full painting of my Mak Itam at the left corner of the living room. Everytime I goes upstairs, I always noticed the eyes was like followed to where I go. I just ignored it and always said out loud, "Alah, just my imagination." To cast my fears away, I will play my uncle LPS on his tabletop. And everytime I feel uneasy I will sing out loud to the tunes. But one thing I noticed was there will be a very strange tone to my ears exactly when the old clock chimed to 9 pm and midnight. Alhamdulillah, for 2 years, I see nothing though I do heard something at the ceiling or the back of the upper level. I just put that to rats, squirrels, foxes or just bats. I moved to the house my Dad built at the end of 1983.
When I entered ITM, I was the same me, a lurus bendul to the unseen. After broken up in a relationship in Part Three, I wanted privacy. So almost every Saturday and Sunday, I will go to the level and chose a room at the end of the corridor, opposite the library to study. I will bring enough snacks and drinks and will be there until 11pm. Yes, I do heard people coming in and out of classes when there was nobody around. I heard footsteps but there was no one. Door slamming, knocking and even the sound of a door being unlocked. I simply put to the theory of the wall absorbed the sound and at certain times will bounced back the noise. I simply put it there was no ghost. The guards whom patrolled the corridors always said I was crazy. I was a sceptic and at that time, put aside all strange things to a scientific deductions.
And yes, the centre elevator of the building will always opened at Level 6 and it is always pitch-black, my hair will never fail to stand every time it opened. I just put that it is just the elevator system having a malfunction to cast away my fears.
And, when I was doing Research and Statistics, we went to do the survey in Terengganu. When we had a breather, Rohan wanted to visit his relatives and I tagged along. We walked through Jalan Pusara at 10pm and came out at the other end almost 11pm. Who was at the stall in the middle of the graveyard whom you can't see their faces but I know there was a lady and three men sitting sipping their drinks. The next day, I passed through the same road on a motorcycle going at a very slow pace and clocked only 5 minutes. Why did it takes so long when we were almost like running and there was no stall when we thought there was one?
And, I stayed on 1411 when I was in Part Six. Little that I known that time the room upstairs was not occupied and the sound I heard of was not man-made. I only know about it after I've joined AMC and the story was related by my super-duper seniors. It was said that a student from that room trying to escape fell to his death and the room was haunted till today.
When I was working at a computer company in Jalan Telawi, Bangsar. It was on the second floor above England Opticals. I practically sleep at the office while doing my work and research. One particular night around 2 am, I was still at the studio working on some multimedia work on the PowerMac Quadra 950. The studio was at the back located right beside the restrooms. Suddenly the light in the restroom started to blink incessantly. It was bothering my concentration, so I walked to switch off the light. When I looked at the display area, all the lights was on, all the windows ajar and all the computer was switched on. Even the main door was opened wide. As I recalled, I have closed every window and switched off everything in the front area. In my first thought it was the boss younger brother pulling a prank on me. So I yelled his name and said it was not funny. When I have done, I continued my work. A few minutes later, the restroom light blinked incessantly again. This time I felt something different as I have switched it off. I walked again to switch it off. I looked to the front and saw the whole display area lit up and the computer was being started up. The hair stands up. I just slowly closed back everything and picked up my helmet and went home. LOLZ The next day, I asked the boss brother and he said he didn't come to the office last night. He then told me about the office. He never stayed back because of one night while he was making out, the studio suddenly was alive with the drums, guitars and keyboard being played. When he checked the studio, there was no one. Alhamdulillah, that was my only occurrences. Maybe they got fed up with me ignoring them and continued staying back and even sleep at the office. There was no more occurrences.
To me at that time, the unseen do exist but to quashed my fear, I put reasoning to cast away my fears. And if something odd happened, I just walked away. Or my lurus bendul attitude towards the unseen save the day. he he he.
But one incidence really spooked me up. It was my first time seeing the unseen through my closed eyes, I was 24 (25 by year), still young and oblivious to the unseen. . It was 1994 in Kuala Berang, Terengganu and I have no understanding of the unseen at the time. I have been sending my girlfriend to her parent house and the family welcome my presence. Well, they later become my in-laws. During that time, my girlfriend's younger brothers and sister had thalassemia. Their parent tried many methods to cure them apart from the monthly blood transfusion. One of their relatives was a medicine woman and lived in Kuala Berang and they wanted to see whether she can help.
So when I came, they took me along to the place. They told me that the husband whom had only been to Makkah can speak any language you throw at him. It created an interest in me to see it for myself. When we arrived, the family went in. I stayed outside and the brothers introduced me to the husband and I took the liberty to ask him in my rusty French. I asked "Tu parlez le francais?" He answered "Oui." I asked what is his name. And he start to speak in French, though it is very toned with the Terengganu slang. But he actually speak French. I was dumbfounded. I asked him in Malay how can he speak the language. He said when a person speak in other language, he can simply understand and he speak as if to him, he is speaking Malay. He said that he can understand and speak any language after he had a dream that his internal organs was taken out, cleansed and put back in. He then continued to tend his orchard.
Since it is a bit windy even though the sun is bright, I still don't want to enter the house. So I sat with the brothers to get to know them better. The brothers; aruah Tarmizi and Bukhory was very chatty. We talked a lot about toys and miniature models. Then suddenly a topic came out about orang bunian. They claimed since they were young, they always see the orang bunians. They even related that were once saved by these orang bunians when the van they were in skidded into a canal and sunk. All passed out but when they came to their senses, they were lying side by side wet at the side road and there are no one around. I just laughed and said "ye ke?" They continued saying that these orang bunians looks like us, dressed like us but they have more advance technology than us. They lived in a high rise, right like the one on that hill. They pointed to the hill right in front of me. I suddenly felt a goose-bump up my neck and hands. Being 12 and 13 at the time, they even said they played with the orang bunians PlayStation and it was more advance than Sony PS One. I just laughed. But then I suddenly stood up and said, "Jom, masuk, ada orang nak datang." I felt a bit weird to even saying that word.
When I put a step into the house, immediately there was a loud thunder and the wind blew really hard. The bright afternoon suddenly darkened in a matter of seconds. Inside the house, the medicine woman screamed and I saw her slapped my girlfriend's father arm. I felt so weird inside the house but then I just sit down facing her. She continued to speak to the mother and father. I was not paying attention to what she was saying as I felt so uneasy. She then closed her eyes and when she opened it, she will start to give instruction or explaining on something.
I felt a sudden urge to press my left toe hard. And when I did that, I closed my eyes. There right beside her, I saw a person wearing a green robe and green serban with a yellow lining on it. The person look more like a caucasian. I immediately opened my eyes and saw nothing. I closed my eyes again and there he is again. So I keep closing and opening my eyes, disbelieving what I am seeing at that moment. The person was whispering to the medicine woman while she was closing her eyes. And when he finished whispering, she started to talk. The situation is like a chipsmore ad,"Now you see it, now you don't."
I was a bit in a shock and didn't say a word about it. But I do remembered I was sweating profusely. When the mother start asking about me, I closed my eyes and see the person was looking at me and smiling. I wanted to just get out of the house but I don't want to insult my girlfriend's family. I kept quite throughout the whole session. Startled, stunned, dumbfounded at the situation.
When we left the house, I sat at the back of the van with the brothers. I asked,
"Siapa orang yang pakai jubah hijau tadi, Mami?"
The father immediately stopped the van and everyone looked at me suprised.
I asked, "Kenapa?"
The mother asked "Mu nampak orang pakai jubah kat rumah tadi."
I replied, "Ha ah, kenapa?"
The mother just said, "Takpe, kat rumoh kita cerite."
Once we reached home, the mother told me that it is a strange thing for a person to be able to see the green robe person. He will usually appear in the dreams after they visited the medicine woman. All of them had that dream and felt strange why I can see it there and then. The mother suddenly said she has a pain on her arm. I immediately asked the brothers to bring me coconut oil, salt and onion. I mixed it and squashed the onions and passed it to her. She just smiled and asked how do I know this is the remedy. I was taken aback for I don't really know. I just simply know and reacted to ask for it without thinking. And I suddenly realised she was testing me.
The mother and I had a long chat where she relates her background and who was the person I saw at the house. She said the person was actually the son of the medicine woman. When she gave birth, a white snake was delivered together with a baby. The baby disappeared right in front of her eyes. She had a dream the previous night that a person came to her and told her that she will have a twin. One of the twin will be taken care by them and the other one, she must take care regardless how the baby look. So, she tend to the snake and even gave her milk to it. After a few months, she had another dream that a person told her that the snake must be let go at a river for it will have a task to do. She did what she was told and the husband took the snake to the river. The snake speak to the husband to make sure his mother not to worry for they can see him as the bridge between Pulau Duyong and the mainland. Allahuallam, to believe this story was too far-fetched for me but I kept quite. After that day, I got closer to the mother.
A few months later on my next trip, I asked for the hands of my girlfriend. She openly accepted me and so does the whole family. I got engaged and married my girlfriend on 10 Syawal 1995. The mother is now my mother-in-law. The brothers died a few years later. Tarmizi passed away at the age of 17 and Bukhory followed a few months later at the age of 16. The sister died at the age of 21, a few months after my mother passed away. The medicine woman and the husband also had passed away in the late 90s.
At that time, I was always a sceptic on these paranormal things. I tend to believe at that time there were ghost and ghouls. I don't disturb them, and I hoped they won't disturb me. But things is not to be like what I hoped. I came across many occurrences. Crossing path with the unseen was too often and I am lucky I can't see them with my eyes. Though at certain times, they do appeared from nowhere. Terima je lah.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Wound is bleeding
I don't know whether I should hit the panic button or be happy. My wound is bleeding profusely now, as far as I see it the nerve is rebuilding itself causing the blood to flow out from the wound. Body a bit weaken but I am still have a strong mind. The swollen due to water retention has reduced remarkably. Movement is a bit restricted because after 12 months, my right left always felt numb, I now feeling pain. The wound as my wide sees it is a beaut. Clean wound. Alhamdulillah.
Apart from that, my social life will be restricted and I know I won't be able to direct any videos for the next few weeks till my wound recover. I am stuck to doing post production. My corporate video I directed is completed but I felt I won't see the balance payment coming as the client has left the country. Hope he remember to pay up. :-(. But then rezeki is always there, I did the concept idea using 3D for Orang Kampong. And they buy it and create a 3D animation ad. I did not do it because I lack character animation. I did the VO (My voice), music composition and sound effects. Will upload for all to see in my youtube. find bobazhar69. All my video stuff is in there. he he he And still await payment. Hope this one also not leaving the country too LOLZ
Another work is doing CGI and Visual Effects for the film Cyber-X. Hope the client happy with the idea to make his movie interesting.
Till then
-bob
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saka- My Story Chapter Two
Chapter Two
It is always synonym that if you a Bugis, there bound to be a Saka attached to you or to one of your family member. If you don't have any problems with the unseen, praise to Allah, you can be living normally as a human being. I am not saying those with Saka attached can't lead a normal life, we can actually. It is how we handle it and how strong is our mind and soul.
Well, actually Saka is not an unseen property for the Bugis only. I've seen Chinese saka, wearing Manchus attire and wielding a really big sword and another looking like a very big belly wise man. (Happened at a friend's house in 2001) I've seen a Javanese girl with her Saka, lepaking in the back seat of her car. Give a fright because I thought it was a man trying to kidnap her. (happened right in front of Concept Comm office). I still waiting to see a Mat Salleh saka LOLZ.
As I have written in the last chapter, I only see them when my eyes closed. When the eyes closed, the surrounding at first is pitch black and then the shape of the surrounding materializes. Then if there is any unseen thing, you either can see as a person or just maybe, a light shaping like a human being. Never once, I've seen them in gory form. Always as human. Alhamdulillah. And better still, now I won't see them all the time I close my eyes. The ability is now intermittent. Boy, am I glad.
Back in 1998, right after the initiation which I never asked for. Things seem to be very weird and sometimes mind-boggling. At first, it was just the ability to read minds. Then, my mouth will speak out without control when asked on certain things. The answer mostly are not thought off, it just flowed. Then one night, my school buddy, Ilham asked me what is Abang Nuar is doing now while we was in his car. A screen just appeared in front of me and I can see the old man was opening a safe at a house. I asked my buddy to call him and asked him, whose money is he counting. On that screen, I see the old man picked up the phone, then looked around him and asked, how do you know? My buddy said "Bob yang suruh tanya." The old man asked us to come to his house in an hour. So we went there. The old man asked me how I come to know what he is doing. I just related to him what happened in the car. He was a bit suprised as he usually have a barrier to deny people to see what he is doing. I just said " I don't know, it just happened." He just said, "You are different." I told him that I really felt it is a bit weird to pry on someone. What if when someone asked for a person, and that person is having some intimate moments. It will be like watching a free live porno. LOLZ
The old man just said, you will come to grasp these abilities in due time. I told him that I would rather not have all these except one ability; to be able to hear a person speak in other languages and then can even speak back to them in that languages without the need to learn it. Sigh. The ability I am still not getting till today. If not, I'll be traveling around the world now.
As for my ability to read people minds, my buddy Ilham whom I flashed as a businessman, got better ideas to make use of my abilities. When he goes on a business meeting, I will be asked to tag along for the discussion. In return, he will belanja me makan and gae me some petrol money. I remembered one particular meeting at PJ Hilton, we are supposed to meet up with an old lady and her son. The discussion was about a land deal in Sabah. The minute I saw them, I keep getting this words, tipu, tipu, tipu. So I keep my cool and just listen to the discussion. At the end of the discussion, my buddy asked me,
"Anything?"
I told him to steer clear from these people. And a few days later, I read the papers and one column was written about a lady and her son being arrested for trying to scam. Mmmmm. So from late 98 to early 99, I was known as Mr Scanner until I find it depressing as most of the people I met in the discussion are mostly con-artist and calls it quit.
Another ability which I wish I never had was the ability to see a person whom within the forty days before their life ends. It is just written on their faces. I see it but the rest can't. It really hurts me because most I saw was my relatives. The first was my brother-in-law. He had Thalassemia and so were the other brother and sister. Two weeks before he died we went back to Terengganu for a visit. I just couldn't look his face. I just know he was nearing the date of embarkation to the other side but I don't know when the exact date. He passed away at the age of 17. 3 months after he passed away, we came again to visit and bring back my son. I left my baby son there to make my in-laws occupied. When we came to the house yard, the other brother in law was playing. As I came to a stop, my first word uttered out loud was "Ya Allah, he is also within days." The next day, I brought him to A&W at pantai Battu Burok with my wife. We took photos together but when we send for processing that photo session at A&W were blanks. A week later, the dreaded phone call came and my brother in laws has passed away. The most heart breaking was when my Mom was admitted to the hospital because of the pain my mother was having. I came immediately to the hospital, and then I saw that look. Under the eyes was black spots and the eyes was very strange.
I broke to tears and told my brother,
"Along tak nampak ke? Mak dah dalam hari."
My brother just said
"Tak ada ler, Mak rindu kat anak perempuan dia je. Tak ada apa-apa."
She was discharged a few days later and later on readmitted on a different sickness. This time it was diabetic-related sickness. Then she had pain at her lower back. And everytime I went to the hospital I still will see that look. And I couldn't bear to see my mother in pain. So, I just took the initiative and place my palm on her back to relief her of her pain. I just said praises to the prophet and Allah, and lay my hand. I didn't rub or massage. I just lay my hands there. The pain she felt ebbed away and I always end up burping. And after that session, my hand became so red. And since I have no recollection of how to cleanse the hand, I left it be and went home. That night, I had a dream that my body was in pain and being pulled into the earth. It was so painful and when I woke up, I end up with a very sore back. I made an oath that I would rather face the pain rather than my mother had to endure it. At that time I was involved in a studio shoot in MMU for Kirawang's Game Show. So every other day, I will go to the hospital and lay my hands on her. I even once lay my hand and slept beside her. And that every night, I face the unbearable pain. I am just glad to see my mother was relieved of her pain. That was all I can afford to do. She still have that look. A week later, I found out I can actually washed off the redness on my palm by just running water on the hand and says praises to Allah and the prophet. Since then, I have no more pain on my back at night. I continued doing the palm session till she was discharged. Then when on a Wednesday, I asked my friend to drop me to my parents' house. I saw her in her telekung on the chair reciting the Quran. I came to her and apologised to her for any mistakes, words or action that had made her mad at me. I hugged her and kissed her cheek. Profusely, asking for forgiveness. I asked her to doa for my success for the sake of her grandchildren.
On Friday, Oct 25, 2004, I was a bit happy that I have received some payments and went shopping for a new TV. We passed by Ulu Kelang but I refrained myself of dropping by that day as I am planning to celebrate my third son. I bought a cake with the flavour loved by my mother. That night at 2am, I was about to start my editing at Kirawang. The phone rang. My sister asked me to come to the house and hang up, I called back my parents' house and my cousin answered. She just said my mother has passed away. I just hang up and look down the floor. No tears came. I just typed an SMS message and sent to everyone in the phone. And I sat there for an hour, disbelieving what has happened. I know she was in her days but it still made me blurred. When I reached home to fetch my family, the minute I entered the master bedroom. I burst to tears. We were the last of the family to arrive. I was the last to kiss her forehead before she was wrapped and I was the last to touch her face so her face will touch the soil in her graves. To me, I have done my duty for my mother. The mother that gave birth to me and raised me to what I am today. I am utterly grateful to her and I still miss her till today. Man, I don't know why I going off the topic but I suddenly realized her birthday is just a few days away. June 2nd, happy birthday, mak. AlFatihah.
OK, Back to the story.
After my Mom passed away. And after the whole family chatted with her after the tahlil. Oh did I said my family is a bit weird? LOLZ. yes, we had a chat with my Mom that night. I asked her some things that only me and her knows and the answer was correct. And I was burping, the same burp I usually had when I lay my palm on her back. So every time I burped mysteriously at the time, I know she was there. The burping was gone after 40 days.
All this while I was having these abilities and that one ability, I would rather not having. So I thought of how to reduce this abilities. I found out that if I told people about my abilities, it slowly becoming less and less. I met an old man and told him my abilities, and he confirmed that if I kept to my self, I can grow stronger and many abilities will emerged. I said no thank you. I rather lead a normal life. This was more of a curse than a gift. So I started to tell my stories to any tom, dick, jane and harry. And Alhamdulillah, I was not listening words when no one is speaking. But then at certain times, the abilities will come and go. I can't control it but it is not as bad as like having it every day. It is an intermittent occasion.
Opps the timeline is disrupted. I missed a few stories he he he.
OK Back to 1999, after I had my Saka and these abilities, I was a bit scared. Scared I becoming riak or becoming too engrossed in unseen phenomena. With a stroke of luck, one of my three buddies that night wanted to know a bit more about tasauf. He knows that the old man has many experience. Since, I was more closer to the old man, my buddy always bring me along to see the old man. So we start to discuss about it. The topics were very weird and definitely out of human minds. For example, he related the story of why the jari hantu (middle finger) is called jari hantu. Don't asked me the story because whatever story he told me, I just can't remember it. Another is about every movement in our prayers, it resembles "alif, ba, ta ......" Then he will start to ask my buddy questions. Weird questions. Since I was not the one interested in learning, I just listened. But I always quitely answered the questions. One particular night, I was sitting on the stairs in the house, the old man was at the kitchen table while my buddy was lying on the floor trying hard to find the answer. I already answered the question and told the old man quitely. Suddenly, I saw this blurry image on top of my friend. It was a head with curly hairs and have a very tan skin tones. Looks more like an orang asli but the image was blurry. It was shaking his head sideways and it was just the head! I was a bit shocked and quitely I asked the old man.
"Bang Nuar, abang nampak tak apa mende kat atas .......(" Bang Nuar, do you see what is on top of .....")
"Eh, Bob. Ko nampak ke kepala tu?" (Eh, Bob. You can see the head?")
"Ha, ah, sapa tu?" ("Yup, who is that?")
"Tak de, dia tu geleng kepala sebab kenapa ler kawan ko ni bengap sangat." ("Nah... He is shaking his head before your friend is too naive.")
Then the head just disappeared. Wow, what an experience. Seeing the head. LOLZ
It was almost three weeks of our discussion session, one day I paid a visit to my parents' house. My brother was there and I related the experience I had to my brother. My brother told me it was my time. He has his in Pasir Gudang. The person he talked to was a homeopathy seller. He kept seeing the person till his Saka came to him. So, he said it may happened at not at the same time and places but how I told him my experience, resembled his. My brother at time has the ability to see a person and can accurately describe the person and place. He tried to see the old man at Kg Baru. All he see was a short, stout person but he can see only his back. His description is accurate. I noticed my Dad was listening from afar and I sensed he was not happy about the topics we were talking. When I told my brother about the discussion on tasauf. My father just said.
"Udahler. jangan nak belajar benda-benda tu. Ko boleh jadi gila. Takpun, hidup susah nanti."
"Alang tak belajar, Abah. Kitaorang bincang je."
" Sama ler tu. Dah, Abah tak nak dengar ko belajar benda ini.
I felt strange why my Dad was a bit off about the topic. I later found out but that is in the later chapter.
One thing I found out about people whom are into tasauf, they tend not to do the compulsory five times a day prayers. It really disturbed me. I can't simply told him to pray as he is older than me. So I made an effort, for everyday after work at places which make Kg Baru as along the route home, I will dropped by his house to perform my prayers.
So. on one evening I dropped by to say my Maghrib prayer. Before I was about to go to the bathroom. The old man stopped me and told me he want to ask me a question. This is the last question and this will end the topic about the tasauf. And there is no thousands of zikr or bersolok. If I answered correctly, I am done.
The question was simple.
"Di mana tegaknya satu?"
So I hesitated to think, pulled out my pen and scribbled in Arabic the word Allah. I added the sabdu. I just pointed the line on top the sabdu. And said
"Di sini tegaknya satu."
By that word, he smiled and said,
"Kamu dah selesai."
"Amende dah selesai?"
"Ko mungkin tak merasa apa-apa sekarang tapi jiwa ko dah kenal diri ko. Ko akan rasa lain nanti, Bob."
I went back, slept and the next day, everything felt different. I was facing a bad financial year but at that moment, it didn't worries me. It is as if my perspective towards the world has changed overnight. And here I am, with a few bucks in hand, I was less worried and never felt happy. What had really happened? I now understand the meaning "Know thy self." If we know who we are in this world, we will not have the feeling of riak or looking down upon others. For some, they may called me maksum. I know it is just a word. I know I am not. I am just a person in this world, with God given abilities and Alhamdulillah, it also given me to know who I am. The only mistake is I started to dig deeper to know myself and for that, the unseen seems to enjoy making my life misreable with test after test.
(To be continued)
Just for note: This is the old man of Kg Baru,
It is always synonym that if you a Bugis, there bound to be a Saka attached to you or to one of your family member. If you don't have any problems with the unseen, praise to Allah, you can be living normally as a human being. I am not saying those with Saka attached can't lead a normal life, we can actually. It is how we handle it and how strong is our mind and soul.
Well, actually Saka is not an unseen property for the Bugis only. I've seen Chinese saka, wearing Manchus attire and wielding a really big sword and another looking like a very big belly wise man. (Happened at a friend's house in 2001) I've seen a Javanese girl with her Saka, lepaking in the back seat of her car. Give a fright because I thought it was a man trying to kidnap her. (happened right in front of Concept Comm office). I still waiting to see a Mat Salleh saka LOLZ.
As I have written in the last chapter, I only see them when my eyes closed. When the eyes closed, the surrounding at first is pitch black and then the shape of the surrounding materializes. Then if there is any unseen thing, you either can see as a person or just maybe, a light shaping like a human being. Never once, I've seen them in gory form. Always as human. Alhamdulillah. And better still, now I won't see them all the time I close my eyes. The ability is now intermittent. Boy, am I glad.
Back in 1998, right after the initiation which I never asked for. Things seem to be very weird and sometimes mind-boggling. At first, it was just the ability to read minds. Then, my mouth will speak out without control when asked on certain things. The answer mostly are not thought off, it just flowed. Then one night, my school buddy, Ilham asked me what is Abang Nuar is doing now while we was in his car. A screen just appeared in front of me and I can see the old man was opening a safe at a house. I asked my buddy to call him and asked him, whose money is he counting. On that screen, I see the old man picked up the phone, then looked around him and asked, how do you know? My buddy said "Bob yang suruh tanya." The old man asked us to come to his house in an hour. So we went there. The old man asked me how I come to know what he is doing. I just related to him what happened in the car. He was a bit suprised as he usually have a barrier to deny people to see what he is doing. I just said " I don't know, it just happened." He just said, "You are different." I told him that I really felt it is a bit weird to pry on someone. What if when someone asked for a person, and that person is having some intimate moments. It will be like watching a free live porno. LOLZ
The old man just said, you will come to grasp these abilities in due time. I told him that I would rather not have all these except one ability; to be able to hear a person speak in other languages and then can even speak back to them in that languages without the need to learn it. Sigh. The ability I am still not getting till today. If not, I'll be traveling around the world now.
As for my ability to read people minds, my buddy Ilham whom I flashed as a businessman, got better ideas to make use of my abilities. When he goes on a business meeting, I will be asked to tag along for the discussion. In return, he will belanja me makan and gae me some petrol money. I remembered one particular meeting at PJ Hilton, we are supposed to meet up with an old lady and her son. The discussion was about a land deal in Sabah. The minute I saw them, I keep getting this words, tipu, tipu, tipu. So I keep my cool and just listen to the discussion. At the end of the discussion, my buddy asked me,
"Anything?"
I told him to steer clear from these people. And a few days later, I read the papers and one column was written about a lady and her son being arrested for trying to scam. Mmmmm. So from late 98 to early 99, I was known as Mr Scanner until I find it depressing as most of the people I met in the discussion are mostly con-artist and calls it quit.
Another ability which I wish I never had was the ability to see a person whom within the forty days before their life ends. It is just written on their faces. I see it but the rest can't. It really hurts me because most I saw was my relatives. The first was my brother-in-law. He had Thalassemia and so were the other brother and sister. Two weeks before he died we went back to Terengganu for a visit. I just couldn't look his face. I just know he was nearing the date of embarkation to the other side but I don't know when the exact date. He passed away at the age of 17. 3 months after he passed away, we came again to visit and bring back my son. I left my baby son there to make my in-laws occupied. When we came to the house yard, the other brother in law was playing. As I came to a stop, my first word uttered out loud was "Ya Allah, he is also within days." The next day, I brought him to A&W at pantai Battu Burok with my wife. We took photos together but when we send for processing that photo session at A&W were blanks. A week later, the dreaded phone call came and my brother in laws has passed away. The most heart breaking was when my Mom was admitted to the hospital because of the pain my mother was having. I came immediately to the hospital, and then I saw that look. Under the eyes was black spots and the eyes was very strange.
I broke to tears and told my brother,
"Along tak nampak ke? Mak dah dalam hari."
My brother just said
"Tak ada ler, Mak rindu kat anak perempuan dia je. Tak ada apa-apa."
She was discharged a few days later and later on readmitted on a different sickness. This time it was diabetic-related sickness. Then she had pain at her lower back. And everytime I went to the hospital I still will see that look. And I couldn't bear to see my mother in pain. So, I just took the initiative and place my palm on her back to relief her of her pain. I just said praises to the prophet and Allah, and lay my hand. I didn't rub or massage. I just lay my hands there. The pain she felt ebbed away and I always end up burping. And after that session, my hand became so red. And since I have no recollection of how to cleanse the hand, I left it be and went home. That night, I had a dream that my body was in pain and being pulled into the earth. It was so painful and when I woke up, I end up with a very sore back. I made an oath that I would rather face the pain rather than my mother had to endure it. At that time I was involved in a studio shoot in MMU for Kirawang's Game Show. So every other day, I will go to the hospital and lay my hands on her. I even once lay my hand and slept beside her. And that every night, I face the unbearable pain. I am just glad to see my mother was relieved of her pain. That was all I can afford to do. She still have that look. A week later, I found out I can actually washed off the redness on my palm by just running water on the hand and says praises to Allah and the prophet. Since then, I have no more pain on my back at night. I continued doing the palm session till she was discharged. Then when on a Wednesday, I asked my friend to drop me to my parents' house. I saw her in her telekung on the chair reciting the Quran. I came to her and apologised to her for any mistakes, words or action that had made her mad at me. I hugged her and kissed her cheek. Profusely, asking for forgiveness. I asked her to doa for my success for the sake of her grandchildren.
On Friday, Oct 25, 2004, I was a bit happy that I have received some payments and went shopping for a new TV. We passed by Ulu Kelang but I refrained myself of dropping by that day as I am planning to celebrate my third son. I bought a cake with the flavour loved by my mother. That night at 2am, I was about to start my editing at Kirawang. The phone rang. My sister asked me to come to the house and hang up, I called back my parents' house and my cousin answered. She just said my mother has passed away. I just hang up and look down the floor. No tears came. I just typed an SMS message and sent to everyone in the phone. And I sat there for an hour, disbelieving what has happened. I know she was in her days but it still made me blurred. When I reached home to fetch my family, the minute I entered the master bedroom. I burst to tears. We were the last of the family to arrive. I was the last to kiss her forehead before she was wrapped and I was the last to touch her face so her face will touch the soil in her graves. To me, I have done my duty for my mother. The mother that gave birth to me and raised me to what I am today. I am utterly grateful to her and I still miss her till today. Man, I don't know why I going off the topic but I suddenly realized her birthday is just a few days away. June 2nd, happy birthday, mak. AlFatihah.
OK, Back to the story.
After my Mom passed away. And after the whole family chatted with her after the tahlil. Oh did I said my family is a bit weird? LOLZ. yes, we had a chat with my Mom that night. I asked her some things that only me and her knows and the answer was correct. And I was burping, the same burp I usually had when I lay my palm on her back. So every time I burped mysteriously at the time, I know she was there. The burping was gone after 40 days.
All this while I was having these abilities and that one ability, I would rather not having. So I thought of how to reduce this abilities. I found out that if I told people about my abilities, it slowly becoming less and less. I met an old man and told him my abilities, and he confirmed that if I kept to my self, I can grow stronger and many abilities will emerged. I said no thank you. I rather lead a normal life. This was more of a curse than a gift. So I started to tell my stories to any tom, dick, jane and harry. And Alhamdulillah, I was not listening words when no one is speaking. But then at certain times, the abilities will come and go. I can't control it but it is not as bad as like having it every day. It is an intermittent occasion.
Opps the timeline is disrupted. I missed a few stories he he he.
OK Back to 1999, after I had my Saka and these abilities, I was a bit scared. Scared I becoming riak or becoming too engrossed in unseen phenomena. With a stroke of luck, one of my three buddies that night wanted to know a bit more about tasauf. He knows that the old man has many experience. Since, I was more closer to the old man, my buddy always bring me along to see the old man. So we start to discuss about it. The topics were very weird and definitely out of human minds. For example, he related the story of why the jari hantu (middle finger) is called jari hantu. Don't asked me the story because whatever story he told me, I just can't remember it. Another is about every movement in our prayers, it resembles "alif, ba, ta ......" Then he will start to ask my buddy questions. Weird questions. Since I was not the one interested in learning, I just listened. But I always quitely answered the questions. One particular night, I was sitting on the stairs in the house, the old man was at the kitchen table while my buddy was lying on the floor trying hard to find the answer. I already answered the question and told the old man quitely. Suddenly, I saw this blurry image on top of my friend. It was a head with curly hairs and have a very tan skin tones. Looks more like an orang asli but the image was blurry. It was shaking his head sideways and it was just the head! I was a bit shocked and quitely I asked the old man.
"Bang Nuar, abang nampak tak apa mende kat atas .......(" Bang Nuar, do you see what is on top of .....")
"Eh, Bob. Ko nampak ke kepala tu?" (Eh, Bob. You can see the head?")
"Ha, ah, sapa tu?" ("Yup, who is that?")
"Tak de, dia tu geleng kepala sebab kenapa ler kawan ko ni bengap sangat." ("Nah... He is shaking his head before your friend is too naive.")
Then the head just disappeared. Wow, what an experience. Seeing the head. LOLZ
It was almost three weeks of our discussion session, one day I paid a visit to my parents' house. My brother was there and I related the experience I had to my brother. My brother told me it was my time. He has his in Pasir Gudang. The person he talked to was a homeopathy seller. He kept seeing the person till his Saka came to him. So, he said it may happened at not at the same time and places but how I told him my experience, resembled his. My brother at time has the ability to see a person and can accurately describe the person and place. He tried to see the old man at Kg Baru. All he see was a short, stout person but he can see only his back. His description is accurate. I noticed my Dad was listening from afar and I sensed he was not happy about the topics we were talking. When I told my brother about the discussion on tasauf. My father just said.
"Udahler. jangan nak belajar benda-benda tu. Ko boleh jadi gila. Takpun, hidup susah nanti."
"Alang tak belajar, Abah. Kitaorang bincang je."
" Sama ler tu. Dah, Abah tak nak dengar ko belajar benda ini.
I felt strange why my Dad was a bit off about the topic. I later found out but that is in the later chapter.
One thing I found out about people whom are into tasauf, they tend not to do the compulsory five times a day prayers. It really disturbed me. I can't simply told him to pray as he is older than me. So I made an effort, for everyday after work at places which make Kg Baru as along the route home, I will dropped by his house to perform my prayers.
So. on one evening I dropped by to say my Maghrib prayer. Before I was about to go to the bathroom. The old man stopped me and told me he want to ask me a question. This is the last question and this will end the topic about the tasauf. And there is no thousands of zikr or bersolok. If I answered correctly, I am done.
The question was simple.
"Di mana tegaknya satu?"
So I hesitated to think, pulled out my pen and scribbled in Arabic the word Allah. I added the sabdu. I just pointed the line on top the sabdu. And said
"Di sini tegaknya satu."
By that word, he smiled and said,
"Kamu dah selesai."
"Amende dah selesai?"
"Ko mungkin tak merasa apa-apa sekarang tapi jiwa ko dah kenal diri ko. Ko akan rasa lain nanti, Bob."
I went back, slept and the next day, everything felt different. I was facing a bad financial year but at that moment, it didn't worries me. It is as if my perspective towards the world has changed overnight. And here I am, with a few bucks in hand, I was less worried and never felt happy. What had really happened? I now understand the meaning "Know thy self." If we know who we are in this world, we will not have the feeling of riak or looking down upon others. For some, they may called me maksum. I know it is just a word. I know I am not. I am just a person in this world, with God given abilities and Alhamdulillah, it also given me to know who I am. The only mistake is I started to dig deeper to know myself and for that, the unseen seems to enjoy making my life misreable with test after test.
(To be continued)
Just for note: This is the old man of Kg Baru,
Monday, May 11, 2009
Toothache
Pulled out the tooth that has caused me severe headache for the past 3 weeks. I was totally broke to go to the dentist and my mother in law chipped in the make my suffering go away. Thanks Mami. Now the worries is my wound, swollen feet and my dislocated shoulder. Anyway, the mind is now clearer and I am raring to be doing all out work that I simply unabled to work on.
Alhamdulillah, the pain is gone and my mind is more focused. Hope things will get better.
InsyaAllah.
Alhamdulillah, the pain is gone and my mind is more focused. Hope things will get better.
InsyaAllah.
Saka - My Story
This is my experience and to some it maybe sounds bullshit. But hey, I went through it. Believe it or not is up to you all.
Saka? What the hell is that? Sounds like Sucker? What do they suck? Blood? Soul?
This was my exact words when we talked about Saka many, many years ago. It was at Kg. Bahru. There were 2 of my buddies and and old guy whom is known as Abang Nuar. BTW That is not his real name. His real name is O.M. An ex-military guy in the Special Force. His last rank was Acting Brigadier General. An avid fisherman and even he was drawn as a caricature in Ujang comics. He is a man with a lot of stories and that was the magnet that pulled us to lepak with him after work.
My work is always on the go. I ride my brother Suzuki TRS to go to client's places. And work usually started at 11am till late in the morning. Since my friends stayed at one of the apartment, I usually hang out there before I go to my next appointment. BTW I don't have an office at that time. The only office was in Singapore.
I was introduced to Abang Nuar by my school days buddy, Ilham @ Rocky because he finds the old man kinda eccentric and guess I should blend well with the old coot.
Everytime we met him, there is always tales to tell. Suprisingly, after much researched, most of his tales ring true.
I was 27, just married a year before and already had my first child.
Facing the unseen has been mild. Being disturbed at the office in Bangsar, something knocking the doors in the middle of the night at my in-laws house, seeing a man in a green robe with my eyes closed and when opened, he is not there, sensing some black magic stuff buried exactly under my room just right after I got married are just some of it. I was still blurred with the unseen. Frankly speaking, seeing with my own eyes can be counted with one hand. I am surely glad Allah didn't give me the sight. I could turn bonkers if I do.
Back to the story. It became a routine for us to hang out at the old man's house. He is ever welcoming us to his place. Coffee and delicacies is always served. And together with it, strange stories always emerged. Sometimes gory and sometimes very P n C in military.
What interest me was the stories of his family. And since he is a Perakian Bugis, the stories really relates to my family. So I started to do an anthropology search of my family tree. And that was the start of my episode with Saka.
All this while, my dad never indulged any of the family background to me or to my siblings. All we were told that we do have a relationship with the Selangor Royals because we are from Bugis clan. I dig deeper and deeper. And I start matching the friends I've been with. Amazingly, from kindergarden to this day, most of my buddies are from royal blood. During my heydays as a teenager, my hangout will be at Raintree Club or at Lake Garden. Bear in mind at that time, I am just a kampung boy staying in a wooden house and life is very humble. How I can mixed with the upper echelon of society really didn't cross my mind. I was a kid having fun and I was always surrounded by them.
When I talked with the old man, I started to have the wanting to know I really am. I don't carry any titles and all my life, I am just an average joe. But there is something I can't put my fingers in. The old man have much interest on me. The time we chit-chatted increased. And when I showed my family tree to him, he just add the link to the tree. He told me I was from the seven siblings that came to Sabak Bernam from the Isle of Sulawesi. This is where the Bugis clan originates. The seven siblings are six brothers and one sister. All have a title Kanda in front of them. Kanda Long, Kanda Ngah, Kanda Lang, Kanda Uda, Kanda Andak, Kanda Itam and I can't remember what was the name given to the sister. She was the youngest. With the the family adhered strongly on Adat Temenggung. Hence the place was called Sabak Bernam and not, Sabak Bertujuh. I was told Kanda Lang is my lineage whereas Kanda Long is the old man's lineage. Wow. Suddenly, I am related to the old man. Talked about coincidence.
As the story goes, the family was a Royal family in Sulawesi. The father fed up with the politics and royal bickering decided to call it quit and declared he is stepping down from his throne. And he is also dropped the title given to his lineage. The throne was given to his younger brother and decided to go backpacking. he he he. Before he left, the brother gave him the title Kanda and after a research made, the Kanda clan do exist in Sulawesi and some still hold that title to this day. I was made to know a few years back by one of Selangor royal, the clan are located as the same area of the Selangor lineage in Sulawesi.
How true the story is I can't confirmed as I never been to Sulawesi and I never been to Sabak Bernam. But my interest to know who I really am was intense. I keep doing research after research in finding the family tree. I could say it is a mistake because I just fit in the criteria of a person about to encounter with Saka.
1998.
I just quit my job the year before and formed my first enterprise company, Azhar Animation Enterprise. (now defunct) Did three jobs and then the economy went bad. I was totally caught with my pants down. My savings dwindled to pennies and my family lived apart for almost a year. I did a lot of things to come by. Being a kuew tiauw cook, doing international banking were some of it. Proposals were made but none materialized as income. It was "kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang." But Allah is great. At a point there is no money to eat. I tend to find a RM5 in my jacket pocket. And I know there was none before that. Stressed as I maybe, the time to pray is never forgotten and doa for rezeki is never missed.
One day, my buddy asked me to come to Kg Baru. A friend of mine has a problem when he wants to approach a girl he liked. So I tag along. More curious of what the old man will do the help my poor friend. When we reached Kg Baru it was just after Isyak. I prayed at the old man house and after my prayer, the old man has asked my friend to get some lime. He is supposed to take a bath. While they are preparing, my heart says I to stay in the house. So I didn't. My friend was supposed to take the bath at the stairs. Suddenly, my buddies called me to come out as they seen something weird. All the limes supposed to be semi-floating in the water. Instead, all the limes are above the water with the bottoms touching the water surface. And yet, I still stay in the house. I felt I must not go outside. And I don't even know the reason why.
Once the bath was taken, then I felt it is time for me to go out. A step out and suddenly, the street lights just went off. The only lights lightening the streets was from KLCC. Looks so majestic. The point I reached the street, I felt there was a heavy burden on my shoulders. It was a bit awkward but I just shrugged it off.
When my friend whom taken the bath came out from the house, I was surprised. His face was like a neon light and it is really bright. I asked my other friend
"Ilham, do you see what I see."
He replied "Yeah... Zack. Why?"
"Ko tak nampak anything different?"
"No."
A word came to my mind. "Pahlawan." (Warrior) and the light just fade.
I turned to Ilham and suddenly a word came to my mind "Businessman"
I turned to my other friend, and the word says "Tamak" (Greed)
And this words came to my mind when I looked at them. It was crazy and I was totally blurred.
Suddenly the old man came out from the house. He said all the things he has done and it is up to my friend to do what he has to do. He turned to me and asked. "Bob, Ko tahu apa yang ada pada kau." (Do you know what you have with you?)
My remarks was "Tak tahu tapi rasanya berat je tanggungjawab dia. Berat bahu ni." (I don't know but I felt the responsibilities is big. It's a burden to my shoulder).
The old man just said. "Bagus, korang semua balik sekarang." (Good, now you all go home now}
In the car, I related what I saw at the street. I cautioned the one I saw greed to never take greed over his actions. What weird is all the words that came to me does relate a lot to the three of my friends. All have a twist in life. One has to know his real roots. One became a successful businessman and another, because of greed lost everything. But that is another story to be told later.
The next day, I dropped by because my friend wanted to meet the old man. Then, he told me what happened. While he was calling his unseen buddies, one figure totally not his buddy came. He wore a white robe with a serban. Looks exactly like me except the beard and hair are dyed in orange. The old man asked why are you here. And the thing said the time for the person out there has come. So the old man said go if you must. And that what happened last night.
He told me that it is my Saka. I told the old man I never asked for it. He just said that it is a guardian of the family and they will eventually come to the person when the time has come. I asked why. That is your lineage. They will come and it was the time I was to receive mine. So I asked what is so great of having one. I don't want to end up a loonie. The old man said I will be able to manage it well. So I said since I never asked for it I will hold them by this pledge "Datang tak diundang, ragu-ragu pulang" (Cometh uninvited, leave if in doubt). It was the Malaysian commando slogan. I was worried it will disturb my life and I told this to the old man. He said if I find it to unbearable to carry, tell him and he will try to cast it away. He pointed out that I was like the only tree in a field and many will come under the tree. It is written. I would understand soon why I was chosen.
I was too dumbfounded to attain something I never asked for and I do not know what the future will be with this thing around me. It is something far-fetched to any average man in the coming years, Alhamdulillah, I didn't turn cuckoo.
So, I went back and immediately told my wife. And she just smiled. She then started to test me by asking me about 20 person I never known and suprisingly, my mouth just answered all the question without thinking. She just said all is true and correct. My mother-in-law has anticipated this will happen, It makes me further confused.
I decided to visit the old man again and again in order to understand what I am against or for. Most of the time I was asked to tag along as one of my friend wanted to understand tasauf. (more of this later) The abilities that I have now is too real to be true. And I was scared it will get to me and caused a major breakdown. With financial problem being faced at the time, another problem would definitely caused a meltdown.
Slowly, I started to gain abilities and if you watched Heroes, I was more like the character Matt Parkman. A person that can read people's mind. At first, it was very disturbing as you see people are sitting down idle in a cafe but in my head, I can hear words spoken when I looked at them. And sometimes, the voices were overpowering the mind. Till today, I just hate to be in a crowded area even after the voices can never rings in my head.
That was my first encounter with Saka, If time pemits, I will rant about the abilities, the family Saka and about the short-coursed tasauf. Crazy as it may sound, I encountered it. How I wished I didn't and lead a normal life.
Note: I was told by my brother when we hit 30, we will have this thing. Maybe through a different process but it always end up with a Saka being your sidekick for God knows how long. It stroked me that I was 28 when I got my Saka but after checking the Hijra calendar, I was exactly 30 on the 18 Jamadil Akhir 1419. I got my Saka on the 10th of October 1998! And the incidence matched exactly on that date. Wow, what a coincidence of time.
This was a test from Allah and it was really a tough test as I later come to know.
Till then.
Saka? What the hell is that? Sounds like Sucker? What do they suck? Blood? Soul?
This was my exact words when we talked about Saka many, many years ago. It was at Kg. Bahru. There were 2 of my buddies and and old guy whom is known as Abang Nuar. BTW That is not his real name. His real name is O.M. An ex-military guy in the Special Force. His last rank was Acting Brigadier General. An avid fisherman and even he was drawn as a caricature in Ujang comics. He is a man with a lot of stories and that was the magnet that pulled us to lepak with him after work.
My work is always on the go. I ride my brother Suzuki TRS to go to client's places. And work usually started at 11am till late in the morning. Since my friends stayed at one of the apartment, I usually hang out there before I go to my next appointment. BTW I don't have an office at that time. The only office was in Singapore.
I was introduced to Abang Nuar by my school days buddy, Ilham @ Rocky because he finds the old man kinda eccentric and guess I should blend well with the old coot.
Everytime we met him, there is always tales to tell. Suprisingly, after much researched, most of his tales ring true.
I was 27, just married a year before and already had my first child.
Facing the unseen has been mild. Being disturbed at the office in Bangsar, something knocking the doors in the middle of the night at my in-laws house, seeing a man in a green robe with my eyes closed and when opened, he is not there, sensing some black magic stuff buried exactly under my room just right after I got married are just some of it. I was still blurred with the unseen. Frankly speaking, seeing with my own eyes can be counted with one hand. I am surely glad Allah didn't give me the sight. I could turn bonkers if I do.
Back to the story. It became a routine for us to hang out at the old man's house. He is ever welcoming us to his place. Coffee and delicacies is always served. And together with it, strange stories always emerged. Sometimes gory and sometimes very P n C in military.
What interest me was the stories of his family. And since he is a Perakian Bugis, the stories really relates to my family. So I started to do an anthropology search of my family tree. And that was the start of my episode with Saka.
All this while, my dad never indulged any of the family background to me or to my siblings. All we were told that we do have a relationship with the Selangor Royals because we are from Bugis clan. I dig deeper and deeper. And I start matching the friends I've been with. Amazingly, from kindergarden to this day, most of my buddies are from royal blood. During my heydays as a teenager, my hangout will be at Raintree Club or at Lake Garden. Bear in mind at that time, I am just a kampung boy staying in a wooden house and life is very humble. How I can mixed with the upper echelon of society really didn't cross my mind. I was a kid having fun and I was always surrounded by them.
When I talked with the old man, I started to have the wanting to know I really am. I don't carry any titles and all my life, I am just an average joe. But there is something I can't put my fingers in. The old man have much interest on me. The time we chit-chatted increased. And when I showed my family tree to him, he just add the link to the tree. He told me I was from the seven siblings that came to Sabak Bernam from the Isle of Sulawesi. This is where the Bugis clan originates. The seven siblings are six brothers and one sister. All have a title Kanda in front of them. Kanda Long, Kanda Ngah, Kanda Lang, Kanda Uda, Kanda Andak, Kanda Itam and I can't remember what was the name given to the sister. She was the youngest. With the the family adhered strongly on Adat Temenggung. Hence the place was called Sabak Bernam and not, Sabak Bertujuh. I was told Kanda Lang is my lineage whereas Kanda Long is the old man's lineage. Wow. Suddenly, I am related to the old man. Talked about coincidence.
As the story goes, the family was a Royal family in Sulawesi. The father fed up with the politics and royal bickering decided to call it quit and declared he is stepping down from his throne. And he is also dropped the title given to his lineage. The throne was given to his younger brother and decided to go backpacking. he he he. Before he left, the brother gave him the title Kanda and after a research made, the Kanda clan do exist in Sulawesi and some still hold that title to this day. I was made to know a few years back by one of Selangor royal, the clan are located as the same area of the Selangor lineage in Sulawesi.
How true the story is I can't confirmed as I never been to Sulawesi and I never been to Sabak Bernam. But my interest to know who I really am was intense. I keep doing research after research in finding the family tree. I could say it is a mistake because I just fit in the criteria of a person about to encounter with Saka.
1998.
I just quit my job the year before and formed my first enterprise company, Azhar Animation Enterprise. (now defunct) Did three jobs and then the economy went bad. I was totally caught with my pants down. My savings dwindled to pennies and my family lived apart for almost a year. I did a lot of things to come by. Being a kuew tiauw cook, doing international banking were some of it. Proposals were made but none materialized as income. It was "kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang." But Allah is great. At a point there is no money to eat. I tend to find a RM5 in my jacket pocket. And I know there was none before that. Stressed as I maybe, the time to pray is never forgotten and doa for rezeki is never missed.
One day, my buddy asked me to come to Kg Baru. A friend of mine has a problem when he wants to approach a girl he liked. So I tag along. More curious of what the old man will do the help my poor friend. When we reached Kg Baru it was just after Isyak. I prayed at the old man house and after my prayer, the old man has asked my friend to get some lime. He is supposed to take a bath. While they are preparing, my heart says I to stay in the house. So I didn't. My friend was supposed to take the bath at the stairs. Suddenly, my buddies called me to come out as they seen something weird. All the limes supposed to be semi-floating in the water. Instead, all the limes are above the water with the bottoms touching the water surface. And yet, I still stay in the house. I felt I must not go outside. And I don't even know the reason why.
Once the bath was taken, then I felt it is time for me to go out. A step out and suddenly, the street lights just went off. The only lights lightening the streets was from KLCC. Looks so majestic. The point I reached the street, I felt there was a heavy burden on my shoulders. It was a bit awkward but I just shrugged it off.
When my friend whom taken the bath came out from the house, I was surprised. His face was like a neon light and it is really bright. I asked my other friend
"Ilham, do you see what I see."
He replied "Yeah... Zack. Why?"
"Ko tak nampak anything different?"
"No."
A word came to my mind. "Pahlawan." (Warrior) and the light just fade.
I turned to Ilham and suddenly a word came to my mind "Businessman"
I turned to my other friend, and the word says "Tamak" (Greed)
And this words came to my mind when I looked at them. It was crazy and I was totally blurred.
Suddenly the old man came out from the house. He said all the things he has done and it is up to my friend to do what he has to do. He turned to me and asked. "Bob, Ko tahu apa yang ada pada kau." (Do you know what you have with you?)
My remarks was "Tak tahu tapi rasanya berat je tanggungjawab dia. Berat bahu ni." (I don't know but I felt the responsibilities is big. It's a burden to my shoulder).
The old man just said. "Bagus, korang semua balik sekarang." (Good, now you all go home now}
In the car, I related what I saw at the street. I cautioned the one I saw greed to never take greed over his actions. What weird is all the words that came to me does relate a lot to the three of my friends. All have a twist in life. One has to know his real roots. One became a successful businessman and another, because of greed lost everything. But that is another story to be told later.
The next day, I dropped by because my friend wanted to meet the old man. Then, he told me what happened. While he was calling his unseen buddies, one figure totally not his buddy came. He wore a white robe with a serban. Looks exactly like me except the beard and hair are dyed in orange. The old man asked why are you here. And the thing said the time for the person out there has come. So the old man said go if you must. And that what happened last night.
He told me that it is my Saka. I told the old man I never asked for it. He just said that it is a guardian of the family and they will eventually come to the person when the time has come. I asked why. That is your lineage. They will come and it was the time I was to receive mine. So I asked what is so great of having one. I don't want to end up a loonie. The old man said I will be able to manage it well. So I said since I never asked for it I will hold them by this pledge "Datang tak diundang, ragu-ragu pulang" (Cometh uninvited, leave if in doubt). It was the Malaysian commando slogan. I was worried it will disturb my life and I told this to the old man. He said if I find it to unbearable to carry, tell him and he will try to cast it away. He pointed out that I was like the only tree in a field and many will come under the tree. It is written. I would understand soon why I was chosen.
I was too dumbfounded to attain something I never asked for and I do not know what the future will be with this thing around me. It is something far-fetched to any average man in the coming years, Alhamdulillah, I didn't turn cuckoo.
So, I went back and immediately told my wife. And she just smiled. She then started to test me by asking me about 20 person I never known and suprisingly, my mouth just answered all the question without thinking. She just said all is true and correct. My mother-in-law has anticipated this will happen, It makes me further confused.
I decided to visit the old man again and again in order to understand what I am against or for. Most of the time I was asked to tag along as one of my friend wanted to understand tasauf. (more of this later) The abilities that I have now is too real to be true. And I was scared it will get to me and caused a major breakdown. With financial problem being faced at the time, another problem would definitely caused a meltdown.
Slowly, I started to gain abilities and if you watched Heroes, I was more like the character Matt Parkman. A person that can read people's mind. At first, it was very disturbing as you see people are sitting down idle in a cafe but in my head, I can hear words spoken when I looked at them. And sometimes, the voices were overpowering the mind. Till today, I just hate to be in a crowded area even after the voices can never rings in my head.
That was my first encounter with Saka, If time pemits, I will rant about the abilities, the family Saka and about the short-coursed tasauf. Crazy as it may sound, I encountered it. How I wished I didn't and lead a normal life.
Note: I was told by my brother when we hit 30, we will have this thing. Maybe through a different process but it always end up with a Saka being your sidekick for God knows how long. It stroked me that I was 28 when I got my Saka but after checking the Hijra calendar, I was exactly 30 on the 18 Jamadil Akhir 1419. I got my Saka on the 10th of October 1998! And the incidence matched exactly on that date. Wow, what a coincidence of time.
This was a test from Allah and it was really a tough test as I later come to know.
Till then.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
A Sick Weekend
Headache due to toothache.
Shoulder that was told dislocated and I don't even realized it is.
Water retention on my right feet has made my feet swollen and have difficulties to walk or drive.
Top wound getting smaller but wound at the bottom is getting bigger.
Fever.
Wow... what a weekend. To have all these sickness in one go. Totally broke to see a dentist or a doctor. Luckily none of the swine flu symptom can be seen by me. I just woke up. Head a bit light because of the drugs. I still have fresh stocks. But hey, at least what I have stop the agonizing pain. I am still blur. I need to sleep again. Man, so much work and the body is darn weak.
See ya. Hope I get better. No, I better get better if not the dapur won't be berasap.
Shoulder that was told dislocated and I don't even realized it is.
Water retention on my right feet has made my feet swollen and have difficulties to walk or drive.
Top wound getting smaller but wound at the bottom is getting bigger.
Fever.
Wow... what a weekend. To have all these sickness in one go. Totally broke to see a dentist or a doctor. Luckily none of the swine flu symptom can be seen by me. I just woke up. Head a bit light because of the drugs. I still have fresh stocks. But hey, at least what I have stop the agonizing pain. I am still blur. I need to sleep again. Man, so much work and the body is darn weak.
See ya. Hope I get better. No, I better get better if not the dapur won't be berasap.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Orang Kampung Proposal
He he he remember my previous posting on the ad I made for a friend. This is the video. Doubt they gonna use it but it was refreshing to be able to create something fun.
I went Bamboo Rafting and I am glad I did.
Took the week off during Labour Day to spend time with my college alumnus. We went bamboo rafting at Sg Betau, located in Pahang. It is was a great time, to be able to sit side by side with fellow seniors and lecturer.
I was tasked to create the tee-shirt. I did the silk screen and then print it on the tee-shirt provided by Bro Aidi. Have to make another block of silk-screen because the first one got worn out after 11 tee shirts printed. The dye was rubber-dye. Didn't make any profits as the fund allocated was fully spent on going to and fro, searching for Venus Art. And then found another shop, though charged higher by 200%, the block emulsion didn't break.Printing was easy but since I am always busy, it was made in the wee morning. OK back to the story.
We spent the night at the kampung hall which was quite cosy except for the ants. There were in thousands. The night session with barbequed lambs, chicken, sausages and burger with fried rice was really appealing. The lamb was the most sought and the first to finish. Sweet and tender.
After that, I sat down with Bro Sager and Kamar Azman. Bro Sager pulled 3 cigars and while we chat for hours, we were puffing away the sweet smoke of a cigar.
Kamar Azman, the lecturer whom interviewed me when I applied for mass communication, the
lecturer who was my facilitator during my practical, and the lecturer that gives 4 flat for all the subjects I took. To me, he was a very practical lecturer. We admired the way he taught us. He left ITM in the late 90s to go on business endeavours. I just can't resist calling him "Yeob" as that is the way he called all his students and friends. LOLZ BTW we stayed at the same taman in Ipoh. I remembered playing with his kid brother demolishing his Spitfire 1:24 model.Bro Sager, on the other hand, is still working in NSTP. Doing articles on wrecks and historical stuff. A very talkative person and didn't bore me at all. All the facts were very interesting. I
passed him some of the story that were mind boggling such as the KD Mahawangsa went through Bermuda Triangle and came out after experiencing weird scenarios. And we talked about my relationship with Wan Malini. She was one of the ladies whom were highlighted in our folktales, Hikayat Malim Deman. For the next two days, we were figuring out the name of the princes that came down to Bukit Seguntang LOLZ. Found out of after we have access to the internet. he he he
Anyway, I am glad I was there. Bro Aidi and his henchman, Shahril, ManTiger, Shaun, Halimi and family (all Mass Commites and he is Haida Hassan's brother. Haida was my MC classmate) , Bro Xool, Zaiton, Hisham, Kamar Azman, Bro Sager, Rozki, Zuki (our designated guide) and Mat Selalu (POS BETAU JKK) were all cheerful and enjoying every moment. You guys and gals are the greatest bunch for such an expedition. Happy to be alongside you all.
Enjoy the video I made of the event.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Work
Just finished a 20 sec ad made in 3D. It is a proposal for Orang Kampung. Hope the client love it, they are previewing it in Malacca.
Now I got to do my Asia Media video presentation. Tomorrow is the presentation.
Oh and today, I'll be signing my ArtXpress Sdn Bhd registration. Gonna be me and me wife. The shop looms nearer but it stil a tad too slow to start.
Hope for the best. Cash running extremely low now. Dunno when I can get back to my feet.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A fever
I had a full outdoor week last week. It was bright, hot week. Oh, better add the extra bright. Too hot for comfort. Yes, it is me directing finally after almost a year being refrained from doing so. I went to interview RapidKL bus passengers, corporate bosses and took some of the activity people do in a bus. And boy, even the air-conditioning in the bus can cool us down. The heat, was unbearable. Well, in Malaysia, if the weather is too hot in the afternoon, there gonna be heavy rain in the evening. The fast change of climate do have effects on our body.
Since the shooting took almost to the night, I don't have time to get my wound dressing at my usual pharmacy. Instead, I bought a paraffin based gauze dressing as a temporary dressing to my wound. It was plain stupid idea to change my usual bandage to other brands. But I got no choice as I was out of supply. And the pharmacies that carry my usual brand are all closed.
Yesterday morning, I felt extreme cold till both of my hands shook. I was shaking miserably. My body was aching and was hot all over. When I look on my right thigh, there are full of spots. Sign of allergies. Luckily, I bought my usual brand using the last cash I got. I replaced the dressing but it was too late. I am in for a fever. The temperature just rose sky high. I couldn't go to the clinic as I was too weak to drive myself there.
There I lay on the bed, totally oblivious to the world. The pain was unbearable. The fever just took me down. My son, took the liberty to massage me and care for me. While my daughter make a concoction of tamarind and ice water and soaked a towel in it to dab on my forehead. It is a remedy to cool the head. Well, if the brain got too hot, it can caused serious problem. Mind you, I don't even recalled they did this till my wife told me this morning. I only remembered my wife woke me up to do my evening prayers and gave me a pill and milk. After that I was knocked out till 2 am. Then, my fever have broken temporarily. I went down to have some bread and honey to regain some energy. I was knocked out from 11am till 2am. That's about 15 hours. After a pop of 1000mg vitamin C. I went back to sleep. I woke up at 6am for my morning prayer and went back to sleep. The cold has ebbed but my body was sore all over. The allergies has gone but the bandage smells a bit odd. I got a bit panicky, worrying it will get gangrenous. I did a quick nip to the wound and it looks fine. Need to change the dressing tomorrow anyway.
The fever was due to my body trying to fight the bacteria or whatever hits me. My body has fought and won. It was a terrible battle as the body weakens as the war progress, It was either me recovering or the infection/allergies won. I sure don't want to go through it again. It has taken me down flat. Feeling helpless is something not a man want to be in. Thank to Allah, my wife and kids are with me and cared for me.
As of tonight, I am still feeling sore on the whole body and the mind is still blurry and woozy. But I guess I am recovering as I am writing this now. :-)
Wish me well.
Since the shooting took almost to the night, I don't have time to get my wound dressing at my usual pharmacy. Instead, I bought a paraffin based gauze dressing as a temporary dressing to my wound. It was plain stupid idea to change my usual bandage to other brands. But I got no choice as I was out of supply. And the pharmacies that carry my usual brand are all closed.
Yesterday morning, I felt extreme cold till both of my hands shook. I was shaking miserably. My body was aching and was hot all over. When I look on my right thigh, there are full of spots. Sign of allergies. Luckily, I bought my usual brand using the last cash I got. I replaced the dressing but it was too late. I am in for a fever. The temperature just rose sky high. I couldn't go to the clinic as I was too weak to drive myself there.
There I lay on the bed, totally oblivious to the world. The pain was unbearable. The fever just took me down. My son, took the liberty to massage me and care for me. While my daughter make a concoction of tamarind and ice water and soaked a towel in it to dab on my forehead. It is a remedy to cool the head. Well, if the brain got too hot, it can caused serious problem. Mind you, I don't even recalled they did this till my wife told me this morning. I only remembered my wife woke me up to do my evening prayers and gave me a pill and milk. After that I was knocked out till 2 am. Then, my fever have broken temporarily. I went down to have some bread and honey to regain some energy. I was knocked out from 11am till 2am. That's about 15 hours. After a pop of 1000mg vitamin C. I went back to sleep. I woke up at 6am for my morning prayer and went back to sleep. The cold has ebbed but my body was sore all over. The allergies has gone but the bandage smells a bit odd. I got a bit panicky, worrying it will get gangrenous. I did a quick nip to the wound and it looks fine. Need to change the dressing tomorrow anyway.
The fever was due to my body trying to fight the bacteria or whatever hits me. My body has fought and won. It was a terrible battle as the body weakens as the war progress, It was either me recovering or the infection/allergies won. I sure don't want to go through it again. It has taken me down flat. Feeling helpless is something not a man want to be in. Thank to Allah, my wife and kids are with me and cared for me.
As of tonight, I am still feeling sore on the whole body and the mind is still blurry and woozy. But I guess I am recovering as I am writing this now. :-)
Wish me well.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Today I see death
I was on the way back from picking up my daughter from her school when we noticed a lady picked up a cat from the middle of the road and placing it on the sideroad. It was a cat about less than a year old. It suddenly dashed back to cross the road and was run over by a car coming from the opposite way. The head was smashed and the body keep on twitching as I passed by it. I was too stunned to stop and the traffic on my side was bumper to bumper. The school kids were looking at it and everyone was like I. Too stunned.
A lady save it from being run over but it was still run over in less than a few seconds, it still end up dead. That goes to us too. If it is time to go, we can't stop it even a second longer. So live life to the fullest, savour every tick of the second. Remember who we are in this world. We all have a purpose. Be learned in filling our soul with goodness and kindness. Be learned in getting the knowledge for the betterment of our life and mankind. Because when we leave this world, let us be remembered for the good things we have done, not the bad things.
Subhanallah.
A lady save it from being run over but it was still run over in less than a few seconds, it still end up dead. That goes to us too. If it is time to go, we can't stop it even a second longer. So live life to the fullest, savour every tick of the second. Remember who we are in this world. We all have a purpose. Be learned in filling our soul with goodness and kindness. Be learned in getting the knowledge for the betterment of our life and mankind. Because when we leave this world, let us be remembered for the good things we have done, not the bad things.
Subhanallah.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Ouch
Shooting postpone. Tomorrow its pre pro time. Estd shoot Wed to Sunday. Guess I have to do the tee-shirt printing on Monday to Tuesday then.
Sunday, Apr 12
Totally unproductive last nite because of the driving on Saturday. But then I still knocked out at 6am after the morning prayers. The body clock has totally wrecked since 1998. Past midnite is always the best time to do work. The serenity and quietness makes you focus more. But then, I will still on the telly to have some sound in the background. Too quiet would ponder the mind elsewhere. :-) Tomorrow, I will be doing my first outdoor directing ever since I had my surgery 10 months ago. It gonna be a week long and it is a business presentation video. I'll be interviewing people off the bus about the video panels installed on board. After that I will do the post editing and motion graphics to it. It is easier to edit when I am directing because I will know what I want to have on the video. I've done a lot of editing of other directors and sometimes it is frustating to have no content to support the script. So I hope I can pull this off sweet and simple. My wound is still on its way to recovery. From a big gaping wound, it is now at just at a length of the index finger. But then, it is still a wound. Ten months is a long time to heal but then the location of the wound causes it to slowly heal. It is at the upper thigh.
This was the wound in Jun 08
and this is the wound as of April, 09
Gory eh? LOLZ Some may think that the limp I had is because of ghout or muscle cramps. It is worst than that. When I explain I had surgeries due to what, it causes amazement to their eyes. This is because I had gas cavity in my upperthigh. I was supposed to be operated like 1-2 times but because one stupid doctor on my 2nd operation, I was operated 6 times. The doctors make-up diagnosis is I have cyrogenic cyst meaning my skin is dead and needed to be removed. There was no mention there was gas cavity in my thigh. How it get there is still a mystery and I do get people telling me I got hit by someone. I laid that to Allah. There is always a reason for whatever happening in life. If it is because someone green-eyed emotion, let Allah gives him/her the best. But then, this has surely burrowed deep to my pocket, without insurance and working on my own, I was totally broke after the operation. There is no more savings and much of the cash I earned now goes to dressing the wound. For the past few months, my wife did my dressing as to do it at the clinic, I would definitely can't afford to.
Anyway, the right leg still having water retention if I sit or stand for a long period of time. And when it does, then I will have to rely on my cane to walk up or down the stairs. I hope I can get this done and over with soon just in time for the rafting event my alumni have cooked up in May 1st. If it doesn't heal, I willl just be a spectator.
Ho ho ho i rambling again about my wound.
To many, when they see me, I always look jovial and always in high spirit. Maybe it because I don't want to think about it and I look at life in a different perspective. Instead of thinking of my handicap, I'd rather be looking at issues and task that lies in front of me. But then traveling around do kinda cost a lot and sometimes, I rarely have the budget to do so.
Life starts at 40, people says. Mine is starting back. From scratch. I hope I can pull this through. A lot of my friends are trying hard to help by giving me editing jobs. And the video directing project next week will definitely will boost my morale to face this world. Watch out world, bob is going back to action. LOLZ
Cheers and happy Sunday to every single soul in this world
This was the wound in Jun 08
and this is the wound as of April, 09
Gory eh? LOLZ Some may think that the limp I had is because of ghout or muscle cramps. It is worst than that. When I explain I had surgeries due to what, it causes amazement to their eyes. This is because I had gas cavity in my upperthigh. I was supposed to be operated like 1-2 times but because one stupid doctor on my 2nd operation, I was operated 6 times. The doctors make-up diagnosis is I have cyrogenic cyst meaning my skin is dead and needed to be removed. There was no mention there was gas cavity in my thigh. How it get there is still a mystery and I do get people telling me I got hit by someone. I laid that to Allah. There is always a reason for whatever happening in life. If it is because someone green-eyed emotion, let Allah gives him/her the best. But then, this has surely burrowed deep to my pocket, without insurance and working on my own, I was totally broke after the operation. There is no more savings and much of the cash I earned now goes to dressing the wound. For the past few months, my wife did my dressing as to do it at the clinic, I would definitely can't afford to.
Anyway, the right leg still having water retention if I sit or stand for a long period of time. And when it does, then I will have to rely on my cane to walk up or down the stairs. I hope I can get this done and over with soon just in time for the rafting event my alumni have cooked up in May 1st. If it doesn't heal, I willl just be a spectator.
Ho ho ho i rambling again about my wound.
To many, when they see me, I always look jovial and always in high spirit. Maybe it because I don't want to think about it and I look at life in a different perspective. Instead of thinking of my handicap, I'd rather be looking at issues and task that lies in front of me. But then traveling around do kinda cost a lot and sometimes, I rarely have the budget to do so.
Life starts at 40, people says. Mine is starting back. From scratch. I hope I can pull this through. A lot of my friends are trying hard to help by giving me editing jobs. And the video directing project next week will definitely will boost my morale to face this world. Watch out world, bob is going back to action. LOLZ
Cheers and happy Sunday to every single soul in this world
Friday, April 10, 2009
Early sleep
Gonna hit the sack in a few minutes. The body ached because of staying awake for 2 days. It has been 2 days since I did it but I am still drowsy. Hopefully tonite, I can get my energy back. Had a great wholemeal sandwich with meat sausages. The kids love it and so do I.
Tomorrow, I will be on a brainstorming session in the afternoon. At 7am, I'll be at my daughter's school. She is having a sports day. Can't miss it. Need more collection for the photo album.
So Good Nite whoever you are, wherever u are.
Cheers.
-bob
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
48 hours
In the next 1 hour, I will be not sleeping for the past 48 hours. Need sleeeeeepppppp. ZZZZZZZZZ
Monday, April 06, 2009
Result of Repair
It was one of the drive that causes the problem. Once, I opened the casing, it clearly shown the HD has overheated with marks on the outer side. Have sent the drive for replacement but it gonna takes two weeks for RMA. Ouch.
I've set the OWC casing to JBOD so I can use the drive singly. But as I writing this, I am getting unpleasant sound emitting out from the drive. Hopefully not the 750GB.
I am totally backdated on my work. Got a presentation tomorrow and I haven't done anything as the HD problem really took my time away.
Gonna do some thinking and working now.
Cheers to me and good luck. I need it to pull this off.
-bob
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Drive Error
Three days. Three days to fix my external firewire 1TB. (Did I say fixed. It's still not fixed, just all data recovered.) I got Mercury Elite-AL Pro Dual RAID casing from OWC (It's a great casing; quite and good speed for video editing) and the drives bought separately were 2 WD 500Gb formatted using SoftRaid. It was doing fine till the power outage occurred. Softraid started to pop up messages both partition has Read Error until on Saturday, it just don't wanna boot up when connected.
I was so darn worried I would lose my work data and of course, my collection of TV series downloaded since 2007. I've tried lots of apps to retrieve the data. Tried repairing using Disk Utility doesn't seem to work as it says the drive is OK. Tried Drive Genius and it can repair and rebuild the drive. Tried TechTool Pro, it fixed the problem but for a short period of time. Surface Scan indicates nothing wrong with the drive but then the error messages pops back again and now, my MacPro will just froze.
Earlier today I googled to see if anyone has the same problem, I stumbled to this site and got a suggestion to use DiskWarrior, so I ask if any of my buddies have em and I was lucky. So, I tried using DiskWarrior, a very small size app with minimal feature but it does it work a charm. I managed to rebuild back the directory. Though SoftRaid still giving occasional error messages, I can now be able to read the data. Luckily, I have a spare 750Gb. I took out my 1.5TB from the MacPro and plug that in the internal SATA slot. I copied a few gigs and then the drives just goes offline. I got to unplugged and replug to get the system to read the drives. A tiring repetitive process. But after 6 hours, all the data is recovered to my 750Gb.
Now, I need to see what the hell happened to my drive and if I can reused it. I erased the data using Disk Utility and still find weird sounds emitting from the drive. Initializing using Drive Genius was not successful. As I wrote, I am doing a total scan of the drives. Hopefully by the time I wake up, it can determined the condition of my drives. I wonder is it the drives, casing or the SoftRAID that causes the problem. Hmmmmmmmm
I am unable to do my work because of this. Deadline looms closer. Darn, what a time to have this problem. Hope I can solved this.
Need sleep now. Cheers. (for data recovery)
-bob
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Dinner
It's dad making dinner tonite. Made a wonderful dinner. Sup tulang. pre-prepared instant mee by Maggi. LOLZ
To make it more delectable and tasty,
I heated up veggie oil on a kuali.
Then I thrown in:
2 garlic, smashed.
1 cut-upped onion and potato. Sauteed till it turn brownish and smell good.
Once done I put about 150gm of tenderloin beef, diced in small pieces and marinated in oyster sauce, black pepper and a pinch of salt.
Mixed the whole thing and put a lid on the stuff to let the beef juice flows and the meat cooked. Don't overcooked it.
Add 4 large cups of hot water
Add in the ingredient on the sachet, 2 is enough if you are cooking 4 packets of instant mee.
Let it boiled.
While waiting it to boil. put the 4 pieces of mee into hot water and let it soften. Rinse the mee.
Pour the soup into mee. Serve hot.
Enjoyed the sweat while eating it.
He he he
Friday, April 03, 2009
Wow 3 years
Wow... Never did cross my mind that I made a blog in 2006. 3 years has passed and today I stumbled back to this blog.
A lot has happened the past three years. Admitted to hospital last year. Life is rough because up to today I've joined the rank of O.K.U (disabled person). Though at shopping compleses, I do get some privileges.
I've joined a social networking group which I was a moderator. End up being banned thrice for voicing out things are not right and standing up on my principles. Now, I am in better managed group. If you are a mass commite in ITM / UiTM, please do join in this group. alumni mass comm uitm.
Life as an independent video editor with difficulties to move about is a vast strain on my livelihood. The right leg will swollen up after a few hours standing or sitting. I now can't work on a video editing job for a length of time. Need to level the leg to bring the swollen down. So, for now I can't do excessive work as I usually do in a shoot or doing editing in a post house. I am stuck in my house doing everything on my MacPro.
With the world economy expected to get worst this year. I just wonder what will become of me. Alhamdulillah, the rezeki may not be much but I am surviving. I haven't stooped to eating rice with just soy sauce. Praise Allah on that.
Nuff said for now.
-bobazhar
BTW on my previous post, I got suckered by the production house. Did two episodes on Mountain Biking and 4X4 experience. Then they refused to pay my outstanding. Found out I was not the only directors to get conned.The only reprieve, I kept the footage tapes. Beware of Manqana or Vyvx.
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